MY MOVIE SHELF: Clash of the Titans

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order, by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 312  Days to go: 300

Movie #61: Clash of the Titans

I don’t remember the first time I saw Clash of the Titans, but I know I fell instantly in love with it. And no, this is obviously not about the ridiculous, awful Sam Worthington remake. This is the Harry Hamlin original — a perfect movie that was the most terrifying, the most thrilling, the most heroic  and amazing film I had ever seen. Within ten years of its release, at most, it was widely mocked for its stilted and awkward special effects, but that acknowledgment of its flaws didn’t diminish my love for it. The horrible green screen effects and the laughable claymation are part of the movie’s character, part of its charm. And while the effects might be a joke now, in 1981 they were pretty thrilling.

The giant Kraken, the ghastly Medusa, the adorable Bubo — these were all riveting, sensational characters. When Zeus (Laurence Olivier) transforms the figurine of Calibos from a tall, handsome man into a hunched, hideous creature with horns and claws and a tail — in fact, the way all the figurines could be transformed and manipulated by gods — was mind-blowing. And the gods themselves — Poseidon (Jack Gwillim) transforming from a seagull into a man, Thetis (Maggie Smith, looking luminous) animating her statue to punish the people of Joppa, and Zeus’s booming, otherworldly voice — were magical and enthralling. Every event, from the destruction of Argos to the foiling of the Stygian witches, from giant scorpions born from the blood of Medusa to the crumbling of the Kraken, was an electrifying and breathtaking display. It has never lost that impact on me.

Perseus (Harry Hamlin) was also a magnificent hero — handsome and brave, with a tantalizing, throaty voice that could be at once comforting and authoritative. I shipped him and Andromeda (Judi Bowker) but wasn’t surprised when I found out years later he’d been involved (and fathered a child) with bombshell Ursula Andress as the goddess Aphrodite. As the years have passed, I’ve increasingly felt Hamlin has had one of the most interesting lives and careers of current actors — I remember the heartthrob he was on L.A. Law, as well as how surprising it was to me when he married Lisa Rinna from Days of Our Lives and how vocal they were about their sexual attraction and relationship, and I am continually fascinated by his “resurgence” characters, starting as early as Aaron Echolls on Veronica Mars and moving more recently to Jimmy-Steve’s dad (and Ian’s gay sugar daddy) Ned on Shameless and the Machiavellian Jim Cutler on Mad Men — but it all started, at least for me, with the noble Perseus.

In truth, at some point the mythology of Clash of the Titans became the authority on Greek mythology in my eyes. Anything that didn’t coalesce with the Clash of the Titans‘s telling simply wasn’t right. That’s one of the many reasons I can’t stand the remake, honestly. And  it’s one of the reasons I love how in at least two John Cusack movies (A Sure Thing and Serendipity), he points out the constellation Cassiopeia — put there by Zeus to tell the story of her vanity and pride. Even Chris de Burgh’s “Don’t Pay the Ferryman” irks me — “Don’t pay the ferry man? Don’t even fix a price?” When Perseus crossed the River Styx, the skeletal ferryman in question didn’t give him a choice of paying later. So there.

Perhaps my fascination with Clash of the Titans is a bit overboard, but I don’t care. It’s still a rip-roaring adventure that I’m eager to embark on every time it’s on TV. My son, especially, loves it, too, so we can watch it together and giggle at the effects and talk about mythology and basically have all-around quality time together, just like my mother and I did back when I was seven or eight and beyond. It’s a perfect movie for all that.