This is the deal: I own around 350 movies on DVD and Blu-ray. Through June 10, 2015, I will be watching and writing about them all, in the order they are arranged on my shelf (i.e., alphabetically, with certain exceptions). No movie will be left unwatched . I welcome your comments, your words of encouragement and your declarations of my insanity.
Movie #31: Big Trouble
Big Trouble is the absolute funniest movie no one has ever seen.
Originally slated for release on September 21, 2001, the movie (which features hitmen smuggling rifles in golf bags onto cross-country flights, comically lax airport security, and two idiotic thugs who buy their way onto a plane travelling to the Bahamas carrying no identification, a veritable cannon of a handgun, two hostages and a nuclear weapon in a suitcase) was understandably delayed after the 9/11 attacks and came out to absolutely no fanfare on April 5 of the following year. You can’t begrudge the studio, really. There was no other option at the time. But the film is unbelievably hilarious, and I really wish more people had seen it.
Based on the novel by humorist Dave Barry, it centers around an unlikable man named Arthur Herk and the seven or so pairs of people who converge at and around his Miami house over the course of a couple days. The plot is tight and seamless, wasting no time whatsoever (it clocks in at 85 minutes) in telling its very silly story. Not wanting to just recite the plot, however, or give away the many great jokes, I’ll instead focus on the numerous relevant characters.
Tim Allen plays Eliot Arnold, the Dave Barry stand-in. He’s a former humorist at the Miami Herald, recently divorced and trying to make it as an independent ad man. He lives in a crappy apartment, drives a Geo, and his son Matt thinks he’s a loser. He’s also the protagonist, narrator and hero. He finds himself thrown together with Herk’s wife Anna on several occasions as Matt tries to tag Anna’s daughter Jenny with a squirt gun for a school game.
Rene Russo is Anna Herk. Formerly divorced herself, she stays with Arthur out of fear of losing the financial security he provides. The first time she meets Matt, she’s jumping onto his back to protect Jenny from his (squirt) gun attack. She finds Eliot incredibly handsome and charming.
Ben Foster and Zooey Deschanel are Matt and Jenny. Ben is the perfect snot-nosed teen and Zooey, especially, is tops as a dry witty girl with that signature sarcastic monotone. They frequently interact with Matt’s friend Andrew, played by DJ Qualls, who is mostly inconsequential but who has some great lines and who I mention because I love DJ Qualls.
Stanley Tucci is Arthur Herk. He works for a mob-run construction company, has stolen money from them, and has a hit put out on him because of it. He’s abrasive and rude, tries to intimidate his maid into having an affair of sorts with him, and he’s got a crazy foot fetish. He’s also fixated with television and Martha Stewart.
Dennis Farina and Jack Kehler play hitmen Henry and Leonard. They’re from New York, where hitmen know how to be hitmen, and they hate Miami. They have no use or patience for muggers, Gator fans or cigar-smoking assholes.
Janeane Garofalo and Patrick Warburton are Miami police officers Romero and Kramitz. Romero is no-nonsense. Kramitz is a little-nonsense.
Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville are greasy, dirty, idiot petty criminals Snake and Eddie. They are beyond stupid, and Snake is a bit mean. Slighted early on in the movie, they return to bring about all the events leading directly to the climax.
Jason Lee and Sofia Vergara are Puggy and Nina. Puggy is a homeless drifter who looks like Jesus. He has a gentle soul and is insanely strong. He loves Fritos and Nina. Nina is the Herks’ maid. She is loyal and kind to Anna and Jenny, but she’s constantly fleeing Arthur and his foot fetish. Nina loves Puggy at first sight (when she briefly mistakes him for Jesus).
Heavy D and Omar Epps are FBI agents after the bomb in the suitcase. (It looks like a garbage disposal.) They act almost exclusively under Executive Order 768-4, which apparently gives them the freedom to do whatever the hell they want.
Andy Richter plays twins who both work as security guards, one at the Bayside mall and one at the airport. He maybe abuses his power a little.
And that about does it. If that ensemble doesn’t tickle your funny bone with the promise of comedy that is both intelligent and absurd, then nothing will. It’s a very funny movie, and it is definitely worth your time.
Viable Option 