MY MOVIE SHELF: Happy Gilmore

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 241 Days to go: 245

Movie #136: Happy Gilmore

If you’ve ever tried to think back, wondering when it was that Adam Sandler was really, truly funny, I can tell you right now that time was 1996.

“But, wait,” you say. “That was all the way back at the very beginning of his film career, right after he left SNL. He did so many movies after that.”

“Yes,” I agree, “but were any of them as funny as Happy Gilmore? No.”

Adam Sandler has never lived up to the potential he showed in Happy Gilmore, and I say that as someone who used to adore him on SNL and who owns several of his movies. Either one of the two I own in which he pairs with Drew Barrymore (50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer) would be my favorite over Happy Gilmore, but those are sweet and romantic in their way. Happy Gilmore isn’t sweet or romantic, really, despite an easy subplot about hooking up with PGA Tour PR person Virginia (Julie Bowen, looking like she just stepped off a bus from Indiana or somewhere similar and got a job in a movie. She’s soooo innocent and young here.); it doesn’t have to be sweet or romantic. It’s just funny.

I have a theory on how that happens. I mean, you take a funny/weird guy like Sandler and put him in a movie that he wrote because he’s the one you’re banking on. It has some acting out and some childish humor and some real iconic moments (“The price is wrong, Bob.”), and it makes millions of dollars, so you let him write another movie with weird acting out and/or childish behavior and a few weird catchphrases because that’s all people want or remember, right? Then you put him in another, and he’s making serious bank at this point so he thinks he’s a big deal and a smart guy. He starts leveraging his power to make sure all his friends are in his movies and he gets to ad lib a bunch of stuff and put his production company in charge of the whole thing and before you know it he’s doing shit like Jack and Jill or whatever, but not before completely burning out on his “serious” work, AKA Funny People, which, as far as titles go, got the second half right, at least: there were people in the film.

But Happy Gilmore was the spark that caught fire. Billy Madison was seen, a little bit, and certain types of people surely seem to like it, but Happy Gilmore was the one that really made Sandler a name for himself. And aside from it being one of the first in a long line of films whose schtick stopped being funny a while ago, the reason I really think it succeeds here is it had a simple, meaningful plot. It had definite stakes. It had a lead character with a horrible temper and no class, but he was always dedicated and caring with those who meant something to him. It made him more human, more relatable. And it had the really funny, silly premise of “What if golf were played by foul-mouthed hooligans with keg-standing, loud-mouthed fans?” It’s kind of brilliant in its simplicity, actually.

Bob Barker obviously has the most popular cameo in the film, but don’t underestimate the surreal hilarity of Carl Weathers as Chubbs — crumbling prosthetic hand very much included. And Christopher McDonald’s Shooter McGavin, complete with obnoxious finger guns, is every bit the smarmy asshole he needs to be. The film is just all-around funny (I still let slip a huge guffaw the first time Gilmore goes up to a criticizing spectator, pulls his shirt over his head and punches him in the fact) built on a very basic, yet sturdy and functional foundation. It’s like the comedy movie equivalent of “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.” Frankly, I wish Sandler would find his way back to it.

MY MOVIE SHELF: Grease 2

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 245 Days to go: 250

Movie #132: Grease 2

There was never any way Grease 2 would live up to the beloved reputation of Grease. It’s sillier, stupider, and the music isn’t as great. But it does have its merits. I didn’t even find out Grease 2 existed until I was in high school, and I watched it a bunch after that, but for a long time with an element of a hidden shame. I mean, it’s just that cheesy. (And this coming from the girl who loudly and openly likes a LOT of cheesy movies.) When I got to college, however, I discovered there was this whole underground cult of Grease 2 fans — one of the girls who lived down the hall from me in my first dorm could even do Michelle Pfeiffer’s “Cool Rider” dance perfectly (the end where she hops and spins and spells “Cool Rider”). That was huge for me, because it allowed me let my Grease 2 freak flag fly a little more openly. And once I found out Drew Barrymore loved it as well, I voiced my affection with pride. (Drew, call me!)

Grease 2 attempts to turn the tables on Grease by having it be the guy who’s the outsider — Maxwell Caulfield playing Sandy’s cousin Michael Carrington — while the girl (Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone) is the super cool one he’s changing for. Some characters are there to bridge the gap between the two films — Didi Conn as Frenchy (finishing her high school degree for some reason), Eve Arden as Principal McGee, Dody Goodman as Blanche, Sid Caesar as Coach Calhoun, and Dennis Stewart gets a slightly bigger role as the same rival gang leader from the first movie, only this time they’re on motorcycles — but mostly the cast of characters are new and the story is its own.

See, Stephanie dumped T-Bird leader Johnny (Adrian Zmed) over the summer because “there’s got to be more to life than making out,” and she’s “tired of being someone’s chick.” But Pink Ladies are supposedly required to be available to T-Birds, even though T-Birds chase around whomever they want, particularly the ladies who work at the grocery store (don’t ask). Meanwhile, Michael is smitten with Stephanie and keeps asking her out, but she brushes him off because he’s not a “dream on a mean machine with hell in his eyes.” She wants a cool rider, see, and “if he’s cool enough, he can burn me through and through. Whoa-oh-oh.” (If it takes forever, then she’ll wait forever.) “No ordinary boy, no ordinary boy is gonna do. I want a rider that’s cool.” Those might seem like the most ridiculous lyrics ever sung, but Michelle Pfeiffer really pulls them off (everyone who was so shocked and thrilled at Pfeiffer’s singing in The Fabulous Baker Boys obviously never saw Grease 2), and so Michael is convinced of his next move: in order to get Stephanie, he must get a motorcycle.

Luckily, the T-Birds this time around are openly stupid (no more mocking the jocks) and pay Michael to write essays for them. So he saves up money and buys a bike and before you know it he’s “a devil in skin-tight leather.” He shows up at odd times — bowling night, or wherever — all mysteriously clad in his head-to-toe leather ensemble, along with helmet and goggles, so nobody knows who he is. But he can jump cop cars with apparently no ramp whatsoever and Stephanie thinks he’s hot as all get out.

Johnny doesn’t like this development, and Pink Lady Paulette (Lorna Luft, aka Judy Garland’s OTHER daughter), who’s been seeing Johnny since school started, gets really mad at him for using her while he’s still getting jealous over Stephanie. The T-Birds chase the mysterious biker over Dead Man’s Curve on the night of the talent show and they don’t know if he jumped it or what, but he’s disappeared. (This is particularly dumb, because Michael is the talent show’s piano player, so if he didn’t show up someone would notice, but the talent show goes off without a hitch until Stephanie zones out during “Girl For All Seasons” and makes up her own song on the spot about her broken heart — it wins, of course.) Michael doesn’t show up until the next day or several days later or whenever the end-of-year luau is. He’s dressed as the cool rider, then reveals his true self, and Stephanie is thrilled. Also, he becomes a member of the T-Birds. The end.

Silly, like I said, but it has merits. Sixties heartthrobs Tab Hunter and Connie Stevens are there as canoodling teachers Mr. Stuart and Miss Mason, and the “Reproduction” song Mr. Stuart starts and the students finish is pretty funny. (“Make my stamen go berserk.”) There’s also a part where Louis (Peter Frechette) tricks Sharon (Maureen Teefy) into believing nuclear war has started to get her to sleep with him, which is pretty underhanded if you think about it but it’s so dumb and she ends up foiling him anyway, so you can just laugh. Paulette’s little sister Dolores (Pamela Adlon) is also a highlight, mostly because she gripes about how “the [Pink Lady] code stinks” and it pisses her off. And Christopher McDonald (of Thelma & Louise and Happy Gilmore, among others) plays a T-Bird named Goose and he is HUGE compared to everyone else. Like, super tall. But if that’s not enough for you, there is also an entire musical number about bowling. (“We’re gonna scor-or-ore tonight!”)

See? Merits.