The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order, by June 10, 2015. Remaining movies: 310 Days to go: 298
Movie #63: Clerks II
Clerks II is not a movie I ever would’ve bought for myself, but it still makes me laugh a ton. Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) are up to their old familiar tricks, Randal (Jeff Anderson) is still a total dick and completely inappropriate at all times, and Dante (Brian O’Halloran) is still a douche who somehow has another two beautiful women in love with him. (Much like Randal, I don’t understand the allure — not because he’s a “hideous fucking C.H.U.D.,” but because he’s an idiot.)
This time he’s engaged to be married and is about to move away with his fiancée to Florida, but he recently screwed around with his boss, Becky (Rosario Dawson), and is clearly in love with her. Personally, I don’t think he deserves any of these women (from either movie), but Becky is especially far out of his league, as she is beautiful and charming and smart and independent and funny and sexy and all-around awesome. So, kind of exactly like I imagine Rosario Dawson is in reality.
Honestly, though, the movie was pretty unsuccessful, and it’s not hard to see why. At 22 years old, Randal and Dante are not motivated or particularly ambitious young men, working at the Quick Stop, but at 33 working at Mooby’s (which also shows up in Dogma) they are downright sad. They have no prospects and no real hope for the future and only through the benefit of a Deus ex Machina are they able to pull it together and make themselves responsible adults by the end. Until that point, though, the profane arguments in front of customers and basically everything Randall does in general (online trolling, torturing their 19-year-old coworker, ordering a donkey show) is painfully, pathetically immature and can be hard to watch.
Not that “hard to watch” means “unfunny,” though, because like I said, it makes me laugh quite a lot. Jay doing the whole Buffalo Bill dancing scene from Silence of the Lambs is a riot, and as someone who despises everything about The Lord of the Rings, I could watch Randal mock it all day. I also love a good dance break.
Clerks II will never (and could never) live up to the magic of Clerks, and often reeks of something Kevin Smith just did to give his buddies a fun little job to do (much like Ocean’s 12 was for George Clooney and co.). But for someone who has a deep fondness for these characters and this universe, it’s a fun way to revisit them and see how they’ve progressed. Let’s hope the announced Clerks III brings things around to end the saga on a better note (much like Ocean’s 13 did for Clooney and co.).
Viable Option 