MY MOVIE SHELF: Get Shorty

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 256 Days to go: 256

Movie #121: Get Shorty

If you remember my post about Be Cool, some two and a half months ago, you maybe realized I wasn’t super fond of it. Get Shorty, I find, is worse. Tonight was my second viewing of the movie, and each time has been boring. I find myself drifting off, doing other things, contemplating tomorrow night’s menu or what my husband’s upcoming work schedule is. That’s not the sign of a great film.

The thing is, I don’t find John Travolta all that intimidating, maybe? He’s a big tough loan shark (thankfully, this movie doesn’t use the term “shylock” as often as Be Cool does), apparently the best fighter around, and can outsmart anyone and everyone. It’s a bit much.

What else is a bit much is the plot, which, while a decent send-up of the Hollywood hustle of putting a movie together that can maybe feel like a mob shakedown, is unreasonably convoluted and all over the place. Chili Palmer (Travolta) starts in Miami where he has a few run-ins with Ray Barboni (Dennis Farina, who is kind of funny as a bumbling mobster, but who is much more satisfying in things like Big Trouble as a competent mobster), then goes to Vegas to collect a debt, where he gets a job to collect another debt in L.A. Deciding he just “likes it” in L.A., he opts to leave loan-sharking to become a movie producer, as you do.

So in the midst of all this movie wheeling and dealing there are shakedowns and double-crosses and all sorts of underhandedness, featuring additional toughs drug dealer Bo Catlett (Delroy Lindo), stuntman-turned-heavy Bear (James Gandolfini), and the guy who played Lazlo Hollyfeld in Real Genius (Jon Gries) as some guy named Ronnie.

And on the movie side of things there’s Gene Hackman as B-movie producer Harry Zimm, acclaimed actor Martin Weir (Danny DeVito), and actress-turned-producer-turned-Chili’s-girlfriend Karen (Rene Russo). (Elmore Leonard might have a thing for chicks named Karen.) All the movie people try to act at least as tough as the mobsters and drug dealers and other criminals.

It’s kind of funny, like I said, but it’s also kind of a mess. Not only that, but being the “Cadillac of minivans” couldn’t save the Oldsmobile Silhouette (or any other Oldsmobile), so it’s kind of disappointing in general.

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Cider House Rules

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order, by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 314   Days to go: 305

Movie #56: The Cider House Rules

First of all, it’s important to point out that I don’t acknowledge that title as being about rules posted in the cider house. In my head, I only ever hear The Cider House Rules in the same cadence and intonation used by the guy in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure who says, “San Dimas High School football RULES!” So I maybe have never taken this movie as seriously as I should.

For one thing, it never really occurred to me that Homer (Tobey Maguire) and Candy (Charlize Theron) fall in love. I always thought she was a silly girl who felt a bit lonely and took advantage of a boy with a crush. And while I still think that to an extent, I also now see the true caring and feelings she has for him. He’s this boy with so much love to give, how could you not love him back?

For another, I never really considered the possibility that Dr. Larch (Michael Caine) might have killed himself or that Mr. Rose (Delroy Lindo) didn’t. I just accepted the given explanations of what happened, not for a moment realizing that there was greater depth there. I suppose if I had been one of the children at the orphanage, I would’ve assumed Fuzzy (Erik Per Sullivan) had been adopted as well.

Given how superficially I watched the thing in the past, it’s a wonder I own it at all, especially given I apparently (according to the sticker on the front of the case) bought it pre-viewed at Blockbuster for $14.99, back when that was a really great deal on a DVD. (Things have changed drastically since.) When I watch it, though, I can’t help but be swept up in Rachel Portman’s touching score or the sweet, sad tale of these people who come to, leave from, and sometimes stay at St. Cloud’s Orphanage.

I completely understand Homer’s rebellion against Dr. Larch, and his eagerness to go somewhere else, to see the world, to reject the medical lifestyle, but I really feel for Mary Agnes(Paz de la Huerta), a girl becoming a woman in this lonely place, left there by a mother who didn’t want her, crushing on a boy who leaves, knowing she’ll never get to go. I think my heart breaks for her a little every time I sit down with this one.

I was also really impressed with Erykah Badu as Rose Rose. She was sassy and knowing, and then innocent and lost and full of fear and sorrow. I think it’s a shame Charlize Theron’s picture is on the cover instead of hers, since Rose is the girl who really shows Homer where his heart is — not Candy.

Women come to the St. Cloud’s Orphanage to either bring a life home, or to leave one there. Dr. Larch delivers their babies and cares for the ones that are left behind. He also performs abortions, because he knows that if he — a licensed and skilled physician — doesn’t do it, these desperate girls will go to any other idiot, or even try to do it themselves, which is far more dangerous. As Larch says, though, he doesn’t promote the service. He sees women come in over and over to have these babies they can’t care for, bringing one orphan after another into the world, but he doesn’t say anything or give them any advice. He just helps them as best he can, whatever their choice. Homer objects to performing the procedure himself, which is understandable, but when faced with the reality of Rose’s situation, her desperation, and her complete lack of options, he knows he should offer his help. Because her life is too precious to risk. I wish everyone could see that, the way Homer does — the way Dr. Larch does. This is not intended to be a political post, of course, but the movie deals with this very political topic, so I felt I should touch on it as well. I love the way it humanizes it, and makes it both a personal and a medical issue above all else. To me, that’s how it should be, and I’m always struck by how clear The Cider House Rules makes that to me.

Watching tonight, however, I was mostly struck by two things. One, that I miss Heavy D. As Peaches, he doesn’t have many lines, but he has the best one: “The roof is the best place to have lunch!” And two, Paul Rudd has a portrait of himself somewhere, old and decrepit. He’s 30 years old in this movie, and he looks exactly the same as he did when he was 26 in Clueless or 44 in Admission. The man is an immortal or something, it’s creepy. Maybe he’s in cahoots with that chick Lisle from Death Becomes Her who follows the spring. I wouldn’t be surprised.

In a way, this whole movie feels kind of lost in time, the same way Paul Rudd is. It makes me think maybe that orphanage is still hidden up there in Maine somewhere, cut off from the world, lost in time, with a hundred lonely souls growing up to be of use and to find their places in the world. Perhaps I’ll dream of them tonight. “Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.”