MY MOVIE SHELF: Night at the Museum

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 182  Days to go: 183

Movie #195:  Night at the Museum

When you say you grew up in New York, most people assume that means the city and fail to realize there’s this whole giant state as well. I wasn’t as far away from Manhattan (while still being in New York) that I could’ve been, but back when I was a kid (when speed limits were lower and even major highways had fewer lanes), it took about seven hours to get there from where I grew up. I don’t know exactly, because the only times I went to (or through) New York City from my hometown were a couple times with my mom when I was really young, by tour bus, and again when I was eighteen, by train (but that was during a blizzard, so it took us forever — we didn’t reach our final destination of Washington D.C. until 3 A.M. and we left Syracuse, because our flight had been cancelled, at 1 in the afternoon). I’ve been to the city a few times as an adult, but mostly my memories of it start and end with those two or three single-day tour trips my mom and I took when I was still a little kid. We went shopping, rode up to the top of the World Trade Center, saw Cats, ate gross Manhattan Clam Chowder that made me puke, and visited lots of museums. My favorite, unsurprisingly, was the Museum of Natural History, where that big blue whale hanging from the ceiling was the most majestic and amazing thing I had ever seen.

Night at the Museum takes place in the Museum of Natural History. It’s a mostly fun little movie, though a bit slow and stilted in places. Yes, Ben Stiller (as night guard Larry Daley) can grate and sometimes the comedy devolves a little too much for my tastes, but I still hold a lot of love for this film, and I’m almost positive it’s due to that giant blue whale. It only makes one appearance, spraying Cecil (Dick Van Dyke) with its blowhole, but I adore it just the same.

The basic premise of the movie is that divorced dad Larry is a screw up who can’t hold a job and is constantly getting evicted, disappointing and upsetting his son Nick (Jake Cherry), who is really starting to look up to his mom’s fiancée Don (Paul Rudd, wearing four hundred phones on his belt like a douche). As a last-ditch hope, Larry gets an interview at the museum (Stiller’s awesomely funny mother, Anne Meara, plays the employment agency representative) to be a night guard. Larry gets the job — replacing outgoing and aging guards Cecil, Gus (Mickey Rooney) and Reginald (Bill Cobbs) — but finds out on his first night that a mysterious Egyptian tablet belonging to King Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek) brings everything to life at sunset. Chaos ensues, naturally, as everyone from Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) — who has it bad for Sacajawea (Mizuo Peck) — to a skeletal T-Rex to a bunch of Neanderthals start roaming the halls and wreaking havoc. Even the tiny little diorama figurines, led by Jedediah of the Old West (Owen Wilson) and Octavius of Ancient Rome (Steve Coogan), start warring with each other and with Larry. There’s also a gross Capuchin monkey named Dexter who likes to steal keys and pee on things. On top of all that, there’s a secret plot to steal the tablet and other items from the museum that Larry must foil, in addition to keeping the displays under control and not losing them to the dawn (when they will turn to dust if they are outside the museum), and still manage not to get fired by museum director Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais). It’s a lot.

Like I said, Stiller tends to grate on me, but a lot of the supporting characters are truly great. The old guards, in particular, are fantastically spry, especially belligerent and pugilistic Mickey Rooney. The T-Rex that acts like a dog is also a lot of fun, and while most of Octavius and Jedediah annoy me, I really like the intercut scene where they flatten the van’s tires and the end scene when they jam to some music in a remote control car. Most notable, though, is how restrained but still utterly charming and funny Williams is as Teddy Roosevelt. He seems to perfectly embody the legend of the 26th president, or at least our modern idea of him, and is a steadying force against the wacky antics of literally everyone else. However, there is one wacky antic I unabashedly love, and that’s Brad Garrett voicing the Easter Island head, because that dum-dum wants some gum-gum.

In general, Night at the Museum isn’t a franchise I’m overly fond of, which is why I don’t own the sequel (despite thinking Amy Adams does a jolly good Amelia Earhart) and have little interest in the third movie coming out later this month. But this first movie is special to me, owing almost entirely to a little girl’s memories of her favorite New York City museum and that gorgeous big blue whale.

MY MOVIE SHELF: Mary Poppins

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 201  Days to go: 205

Movie #176:  Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins is kind of a long movie. Like, much longer than I would’ve thought. Even though I’ve seen it I don’t even know how many times, I never realized it was almost two and a half hours long. That’s long for a kid-centric Disney movie, right? It is.

Luckily for Mary Poppins, it’s so delightful and engaging nobody (as far as I know) has ever felt it was too long. Being practically perfect in every way, Mary Poppins (Julie Andrews) is like a dream for a young child. In fact, it’s the advertisement (pronounced ad-VER-tis-mint, because we’re British here) written by the Banks children, Jane (Karen Dotrice) and Michael (Matthew Garber), that Mary Poppins responds to, not the one written by Mr. Banks (David Tomlinson). It gave agency and authority to the children and to their wishes. The whole film, in fact, is interested in treating these children as people whose desires and preferences matter just as much as anyone else’s. That’s still an innovative approach for a family film, even fifty years later.

There are so many great songs in Mary Poppins it can be hard to pick one as the best. “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” is the marquee tune, but the simpler ones speak more profoundly to me. “A Spoonful of Sugar” is something I actually think about pretty often. I think about it in the literal sense, with how all syrup medicine is sugary flavored, and I think about it in the metaphorical sense, with the way a good attitude or a bit of fun during a hard task makes it easier to accomplish and in quicker time. It’s a clever little ditty that I enjoy.

“Stay Awake,” on the other hand, is slow and peaceful, without losing any of its cleverness. “Stay Awake” is like a trick to play on your kids. It’s reverse psychology put into a lullaby. “Don’t even think about sleeping, kids, except for the fact that this is the sleepiest song ever recorded.” As a parent, it’s like the best idea ever. I’ve never had to pull it out, but I hope if I ever do, I’ll have it there in my back pocket. It’s diabolical and perfect.

There are, too, a lot of lovely little magical details in Mary Poppins, of course. I always loved the idea of jumping into a chalk drawing, or riding a carousel horse off into the countryside. I love Bert (Dick Van Dyke) doing that weird  thing with his pants and dancing with the penguins. I love the idea of giggling yourself up onto the ceiling. I love the idea of a talking umbrella handle. And I really really love the idea of an infinite, bottomless carpetbag. It’s my favorite thing in all the world, be it here or in Harry Potter or in Sofia the First. It’s just such a great, silly, perfect idea. Who wouldn’t want to be able to carry around a light little bag that has literally anything you could ever want in it?

The more maudlin parts (the bird woman, the growth and dreams of Mr. Banks) don’t move me as much as they’re clearly meant to, but I do like the idea of going to fly a kite, even if I don’t really like flying kites at all. (It’s the thought that counts.)

MY MOVIE SHELF: Bye Bye Birdie

This is the deal: I own around 350 movies on DVD and Blu-ray. Through June 10, 2015, I will be watching and writing about them all, in the order they are arranged on my shelf (i.e., alphabetically, with certain exceptions). No movie will be left unwatched . I welcome your comments, your words of encouragement and your declarations of my insanity.

Movie #43: Bye Bye Birdie

I’m not really sure why I own this movie, except that I saw it when I was in high school and have had “We Love You, Conrad” in my head ever since.

Actually, as far as cultural impact goes, this movie has probably had more than people realize. “Put on a Happy Face,” which Albert (Dick Van Dyke) sings to Rosie (Janet Leigh) is considered a standard (even Tony Bennett has recorded it). Bye Bye Birdie also made Ann-Margret a huge star, and her iconic opening number has been referenced in several movies since, plus was the inspiration for an entire ad campaign during an episode of Mad Men.

Set in 1958 and released in 1963 — a year before The Beatles really turned the world of fangirls upside-down — Bye Bye Birdie satirizes the media events surrounding Elvis Presley being drafted into the army in 1957 and giving one lucky woman “one last kiss.” In the movie, the Elvis surrogate is one Conrad Birdie (Jesse Pearson) and the randomly selected lucky girl is Ann-Margret’s character Kim McAfee, from Sweet Apple, Ohio, which I’m pretty sure is not an actual place. (In the movie, when Ed Sullivan — the real guy, appearing as himself — is approached with this idea to have Conrad kiss one lucky girl, he insists she should be from Ohio, which is hilarious to me. I’m pretty sure Ohio has had this exact reputation in Hollywood since 1958; it’s never changed.)

The movie proceeds to mock just about everything, from teenagers to heartthrobs to mothers, to women in general, actually. There’s not a whole lot to recommend it from a modern feminist perspective, though it is something that, like Mad Men, can be used as a gauge for how much things have changed in 50 years, and how much they’ve remained very much the same.

One thing that’s definitely not changed is how older generations have viewed younger generations, since the beginning of time. The pundits who look down on the youth of today are the same kids being satirized in 1963, as are their current views, sung by the two disapproving parents in the movie, Paul Lynde and Maureen Stapleton as Kim’s father and Albert’s mother, in the song “Kids.” Sample lines: “Why can’t they be like we were, perfect in every way? What’s the matter with kids today?” That’s a theme that just never goes out of style.

So maybe Bye Bye Birdie isn’t an important film, maybe it’s an outdated film, but it’s still a pretty fun film, and it’s got great music. Except maybe “We Love You, Conrad,” which thanks to this project will now be in my head for the next twenty years. (I’m kidding, it never left.)