MY MOVIE SHELF: Toy Story 2

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 149  Days to go: 101

Movie #289:  Toy Story 2

The original Toy Story is fantastic, truly. Toy Story 2 is better, I think.

In the first film, the toys’ troubles are largely insular, instigated and aggravated within their own community — and within their own insecurities. In the sequel, there are clear and identifiable nemeses — outside forces working against the toys of Andy’s room, villains for them to defeat. This makes for higher stakes, greater perils, and a more thrilling story.

This time Al (Wayne Knight), proprietor of Al’s Toy Barn, steals Woody (Tom Hanks) from the family’s yard sale when Woody goes to rescue one of the toys Andy’s mom (Laurie Metcalf) has placed for sale. Woody, see, is a rare collectible — a toy from an old-timey TV show starring Woody himself. Al needs Woody to complete his set, which includes cowgirl Jessie (Joan Cusack), horse Bullseye, and Old Prospector Stinky Pete (Kelsey Grammer), so he can sell the whole kit and kaboodle to a toy museum in Japan. Woody tries to escape on his own, but he’s injured (his arm seam popped) and both Jessie and Bullseye are loath to go back into storage. Plus someone is undermining Woody’s efforts. Woody’s friends, meanwhile, are also on a mission to rescue him. Led by Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), a group of Andy’s toys made up of Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles), Slinky (Jim Varney), Hamm (John Ratzenberger) and Rex (Wallace Shawn) head out into the wilds of suburbia to find and bring home their friend — with their own share of snags and pitfalls along the way.

The movie is as clever as the first, but it also features tons of hilarious and winking references to other movie blockbusters. (Probably far more than I notice, even.) There’s Slinky saying, “I may not be a smart dog, but I know what road kill is,” in homage to Hanks in Forrest Gump. There’s Rex chasing after the car that Tour Guide Barbie (Jodi Benson) is driving and being seen through the side mirror, à la Jurassic Park. There’s Evil Emperor Zurg channeling Darth Vader in all sorts of ways. And there’s Mr. Potato Head pulling an Oddjob (from Goldfinger) by flinging his hat at the closing condominium doors to hold them open.

Toy Story 2 also brings back some old favorites — like the Pizza Planet aliens Mr. Potato Head saves from certain death. (“We are eternally grateful!”) Plus Bo Peep (Annie Potts) is still around to be Woody’s girl (and to be thoroughly impressed by his new arm muscle once Andy repairs his ripped seam). And they add some new favorites as well. The end of Toy Story saw Andy’s baby sister receiving a Mrs. Potato Head (Estelle Harris), and in Toy Story 2 she and her husband are sweet and passionate lovers. And Barbie herself gets a chance to dig the original Toy Story retail marketers for not making enough Buzz Lightyear dolls to meet demand.

There are cute moments, sweet moments and, in the case of Jessie’s lost little girl Emily, quite sad moments. But the best moments are, as always, the daring rescues, the thrilling escapes, and the overwhelming excitement of playing with Andy again. Well, that and Buzz’s spontaneous wing erection when Jessie courageously helps Buster out of the room. He gets literally sprung, and that’s a reference right up my alley.

MY MOVIE SHELF: Sixteen Candles

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 186  Days to go: 128

Movie #252:  Sixteen Candles

First off, the premise of Sixteen Candles, in which Sam (Molly Ringwald) discovers her whole family has forgotten her birthday, would never have happened to me, because the second my older sister scheduled her wedding for the day after, I’d have caused an uproar. Not that she couldn’t have her wedding the day after my birthday, of course, but people would hear about it enough that it couldn’t possibly escape their minds. So in a way, it’s Sam’s fault for not being more vocal about her birthday expectations right up front.

Still, the idea of your parents forgetting your birthday (particularly a milestone birthday, but any birthday will do), sounds like an absolute nightmare to me, and the fact that John Hughes used it as the subject for his first feature film (he’d wanted to do The Breakfast Club first because of its single, confined location, but this one was greenlit before that one) exemplifies his legendary status as a writer/director who really understood and “got” the 1980s teenage psyche. He knew what was important to them, he knew what they wanted, he related to them. And by extension, he related to the adolescent youth of the entire nation.

The Breakfast Club is more famous for having more important things to say, but Sixteen Candles is actually my favorite for the simple reason that I heart Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling). Jake is perfect and beautiful and a senior and … perfect. He’s everything you want in a crush on an upperclassman. And miraculously, he not only knows who Samantha is, but she intrigues him.

The movie is maybe not something one could get away with today — for the jarring gong musical cue every time Long Duk Dong (Gedde Watanabe) comes on screen, at the very least. It’s probably also not the best idea to talk about how you could violate your unconscious girlfriend ten different ways or have to explain why you won’t. In that way, it’s definitely a film of an entirely different era. But it still makes me laugh and it still makes me sad and it still makes me hope. Anthony Michael Hall as Farmer Ted is just about the most ridiculous and embarrassing nerd ruler to ever be both a character and a caricature on film, and yet Hall’s performance is not at all self-conscious or hesitant. He gives 100% to every dance move, every lifted eyebrow, and every smug come-on. Moreover, Molly Ringwald was the absolute embodiment of the high school girl who felt invisible and unlovable. (Honestly, I can’t even tell you the number of times I said “I’m going to kill myself” in the exact same sing-song voice she uses. It’s uncanny. It’s universal.) Her humiliation is palpable, her despair is both overexaggerated and all-encompassing. Her neurotic obsession with Jake is … pretty on point, actually. It’s just perfect.

And big props to all the actors playing Sam’s grandparents for really doing stellar supporting work, whether it’s by scolding Jake over the phone or by feeling up Sam’s newly sprouted boobs. Somehow only grandparents can be even more out of touch than your parents. Good on them for doing the awkwardness justice.

Additional fun facts:

Bridal veils, whether you’re hopped up on muscle relaxers or not, feel like a spider web on your face. You really do that blowing/spitting thing Ginny (Blanche Baker) does in order to get it away from your skin.

I never actually knew anyone in high school who either showered naked after gym, like Jake’s girlfriend, or wore headgear, like Joan Cusack’s nameless geek character. But we did go to a lot of school dances.

I was in love with Jake, yes, but I also thought John Cusack was cute as Bryce. Adorable nerds are kind of my sweet spot.

My birthday is this month. Nobody is ever allowed to forget it. Ever.