The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015. Remaining movies: 182 Days to go: 183
Movie #195: Night at the Museum
When you say you grew up in New York, most people assume that means the city and fail to realize there’s this whole giant state as well. I wasn’t as far away from Manhattan (while still being in New York) that I could’ve been, but back when I was a kid (when speed limits were lower and even major highways had fewer lanes), it took about seven hours to get there from where I grew up. I don’t know exactly, because the only times I went to (or through) New York City from my hometown were a couple times with my mom when I was really young, by tour bus, and again when I was eighteen, by train (but that was during a blizzard, so it took us forever — we didn’t reach our final destination of Washington D.C. until 3 A.M. and we left Syracuse, because our flight had been cancelled, at 1 in the afternoon). I’ve been to the city a few times as an adult, but mostly my memories of it start and end with those two or three single-day tour trips my mom and I took when I was still a little kid. We went shopping, rode up to the top of the World Trade Center, saw Cats, ate gross Manhattan Clam Chowder that made me puke, and visited lots of museums. My favorite, unsurprisingly, was the Museum of Natural History, where that big blue whale hanging from the ceiling was the most majestic and amazing thing I had ever seen.
Night at the Museum takes place in the Museum of Natural History. It’s a mostly fun little movie, though a bit slow and stilted in places. Yes, Ben Stiller (as night guard Larry Daley) can grate and sometimes the comedy devolves a little too much for my tastes, but I still hold a lot of love for this film, and I’m almost positive it’s due to that giant blue whale. It only makes one appearance, spraying Cecil (Dick Van Dyke) with its blowhole, but I adore it just the same.
The basic premise of the movie is that divorced dad Larry is a screw up who can’t hold a job and is constantly getting evicted, disappointing and upsetting his son Nick (Jake Cherry), who is really starting to look up to his mom’s fiancée Don (Paul Rudd, wearing four hundred phones on his belt like a douche). As a last-ditch hope, Larry gets an interview at the museum (Stiller’s awesomely funny mother, Anne Meara, plays the employment agency representative) to be a night guard. Larry gets the job — replacing outgoing and aging guards Cecil, Gus (Mickey Rooney) and Reginald (Bill Cobbs) — but finds out on his first night that a mysterious Egyptian tablet belonging to King Ahkmenrah (Rami Malek) brings everything to life at sunset. Chaos ensues, naturally, as everyone from Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) — who has it bad for Sacajawea (Mizuo Peck) — to a skeletal T-Rex to a bunch of Neanderthals start roaming the halls and wreaking havoc. Even the tiny little diorama figurines, led by Jedediah of the Old West (Owen Wilson) and Octavius of Ancient Rome (Steve Coogan), start warring with each other and with Larry. There’s also a gross Capuchin monkey named Dexter who likes to steal keys and pee on things. On top of all that, there’s a secret plot to steal the tablet and other items from the museum that Larry must foil, in addition to keeping the displays under control and not losing them to the dawn (when they will turn to dust if they are outside the museum), and still manage not to get fired by museum director Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais). It’s a lot.
Like I said, Stiller tends to grate on me, but a lot of the supporting characters are truly great. The old guards, in particular, are fantastically spry, especially belligerent and pugilistic Mickey Rooney. The T-Rex that acts like a dog is also a lot of fun, and while most of Octavius and Jedediah annoy me, I really like the intercut scene where they flatten the van’s tires and the end scene when they jam to some music in a remote control car. Most notable, though, is how restrained but still utterly charming and funny Williams is as Teddy Roosevelt. He seems to perfectly embody the legend of the 26th president, or at least our modern idea of him, and is a steadying force against the wacky antics of literally everyone else. However, there is one wacky antic I unabashedly love, and that’s Brad Garrett voicing the Easter Island head, because that dum-dum wants some gum-gum.
In general, Night at the Museum isn’t a franchise I’m overly fond of, which is why I don’t own the sequel (despite thinking Amy Adams does a jolly good Amelia Earhart) and have little interest in the third movie coming out later this month. But this first movie is special to me, owing almost entirely to a little girl’s memories of her favorite New York City museum and that gorgeous big blue whale.
Viable Option 