The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015. Remaining movies: 228 Days to go: 233
Movie #149: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
We join our program already in progress.
I’m not so out of touch that I don’t know there are a slew of Ice Age movies, but without checking the release dates on IMDb, I would have no way of knowing which Ice Age movies precede other Ice Age movies, except it’s pretty obvious Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs falls somewhere in a series of sequels.
I think I’ve probably seen the original Ice Age at some point, but I’m not sure I’ve watched any of the sequels before — including this one, until today. I got this disc years ago from my mother, when the older kids were younger and maybe watched it at some point. As far as mindless children’s programming goes, this movie is just fine. As far as movies go, it’s a mess.
Not to bemoan a cartoon for being historically inaccurate or anything — I mean, The Flintstones coexisted with dinosaurs and saber-toothed tigers and whatnot just fine — but I’m fairly certain the dinosaurs didn’t dawn during an ice age, and I’m positive they didn’t exist in the time of wooly mammoths. Dinosaurs were millions of years extinct by the time mammals rose to be the dominant species on earth, so I doubt Sid the sloth (John Leguizamo) happens upon three t-rex eggs in an underground ice cave. I get that it’s a stupid cartoon, but it doesn’t have to be a stupid cartoon.
From the original Ice Age movie, I remember Manny the mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid the sloth and Diego the saber-toothed tiger (Denis Leary) teaming up for some reason or another. Well, at some point in some previous sequel to Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Manny gets a wife, Ellie (Queen Latifah), Ellie is pregnant with baby Peaches, and there appear to be a couple of possums named Crash and Eddie (Seann William Scott and Josh Peck) hanging around as well. Even the dumb squirrel who can never catch that acorn has his eye on a lady flying squirrel, who has her eye on his acorn (not a euphemism).
With the impending birth of his child in sight, Manny is a nervous dad-to-be, Sid is feeling left out, and Diego is having some sort of panic attacks when he chases things. Or maybe it’s just a heart murmur, I don’t know. Sid fumbles around doing Sid things and manages to fall into an ice cave, find some eggs, and decides to keep them as his children so he draws faces on them and carries them around. As you do. Not sure how he found the eggs in an ice cave when there’s an underground tropical jungle of dinosaur habitat, but whatever. The eggs hatch and tiny dinosaurs emerge, and Sid pretends he’s their mother, then gets taken off by the real mama dinosaur and the rest of the gang goes to save him. With the assistance of insane weasel Buck (Simon Pegg), they travel through the underground jungle, fending off reptiles and saving Sid. Oh and Peaches is born. Then they go topside again and I swear to god this movie is so stupid.
I would say I could keep this one around for my youngest child to eventually enjoy, but I have enough movies for her — much better movies that don’t make me want to rip my hair out. And Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs can go the way of the dodo.
Viable Option 