MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2

 

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 9 Days to go: 10

Movie #431:  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2

So here we are. Finally — FINALLY!! — Bella (Kristen Stewart) is a vampire, and boy, is she great at it. I don’t agree with all the people who don’t like Bella as a human, but I understand their complaints. Bella as a vampire rocks, though, and I will brook no argument on this point. Kristen Stewart has been (purposefully) playing Bella as fidgety and awkward in her own skin for all of these films, and all of a sudden she’s completely centered and calm and so obviously sure of herself. It’s intoxicating. She rules. Her sprinting through the forest with Edward (Robert Pattinson) is awesome, as is her scaling a cliff — in bare feet, no gloves, and wearing a cocktail dress, no less — like the Dread Pirate Roberts on speed. Then she just leaps off the cliff like it’s nothing and takes down a fucking mountain lion like a badass. Fuck that puny deer, Bella wants some power. And not only can she take down mountain lions, she takes down Jacob (Taylor Lautner) as well when she finds out he put his creepy wolfy imprint on her baby daughter. Bella’s amazing, and I LOVE how openly wowed Edward is by her. He could not be more in love and impressed and astounded by his incredible wife, and I am into it.

Everything’s great now. Bella and Edward are happy and together and super awesome vampires together. Jacob has stopped whining and being a jerk about Bella since he’s found another girl to glom onto — one who actually wants his affections this time. And Jacob has even found a way to let Charlie (Billy Burke) know that magical things are afoot without spilling the beans about the ampires-vay, so the Cullens don’t have to leave Forks because they’re pretending Bella’s dead. Yay, happy ending! The only potential problem is Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy), who is growing faster than bamboo. They need to find answers about her mortality before she’s turned to dust like that dude who chose poorly in Last Crusade. Only … something else comes up. One of their Alaska friends, Irina (Maggie Grace), shows up and catches sight of Renesmee acting all supernatural and she assumes the Cullens have taken a human child and turned it into a vampire. So she goes to tell the Volturi, because that is a big vampire no-no.

The Volturi have been around since New Moon, and they’re an interesting lot. Their leader Aro is played by Michael Sheen in an as comically over-the-top way as he can while still having a menacing demeanor. He squeals and giggles and over-enunciates like he’s a dandy clown, but he’s completely deadly and malicious and he loves amassing power and collecting gifted vampires, of which the Cullens have a deep supply. The accusation of an immortal child is all the ammunition Aro needs to go after the Cullens once and for all, and this development provides the conflict for the remainder of the story, with the Cullens amassing witnesses to testify to Renesmee’s status as a born and growing child. Suddenly vampires are all over the place, with all sorts of fun super powers because somewhere along the way it became boring to just have them be extensions of their human personalities, I guess.

It’s a great, exciting tactic, and the movie really does a lot to include as many of these new vampires as it can, despite having not one-tenth the use for them that the book does. However, Stephenie Meyer hasn’t written a single action/battle scene in any of the Twilight books to this point, so it’s sure as hell not going to happen now. The book ends with them all standing really tensely in a field, with Bella showing off her shield skills a bit and Alice (Ashley Greene) coming in for the win with a grown half-mortal just like Renesmee, and that’s it. Everyone shrugs and goes home. End of story. The movie, god bless it, could not end that way.

I’d followed talk and articles about the production of Breaking Dawn Part 2 in anticipation of its release, and I’d heard about the so-called twist ending. I was curious to see how they would give the film any sort of action, because it simply doesn’t exist on the page. Well, I got settled in to watch the film on Thanksgiving, I think, with a big assist from my sister-in-law, who agreed to watch the baby so my husband and I could go together. I watched and enjoyed the whole thing, and then when Alice shows up and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE?? I turned into a MESS. (SPOILER: I’m about to explain exactly why and how I was a mess.)

I was freaking out. First Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) gets his head ripped off, then Jasper (Jackson Rathbone), and I am literally screaming in the theater. When wolf-Seth (Booboo Stewart) dies, my eyes fill with tears, and when wolf-Leah (Julia Jones) SACRIFICES HERSELF FOR ESME (Elizabeth Reaser)?? I am full-on crying. Caius (Jamie Campbell Bower) gets his face ripped off at the jaw, Jane (Dakota Fanning) gets just what’s coming to her at the hands of Alice and wolf-Sam (Chaske Spencer), and Jacob takes down some random Volturi without even losing a step on his sprinting pace — WHILE CARRYING RENESMEE ON HIS BACK.  Plus Edward falls down a giant, crumbling crevasse (but he bursts back up and tag teams with Bella against Aro). And then, POOF! None of that happened at all and Alice was only showing Aro the goddamn future.

Now, my son, when he finally saw this, yelled about what a rip-off it was. I, however, couldn’t stop laughing at what a freaking ridiculous dork I was to be so panicked over this silly, stupid cast of characters. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I am still laughing at my reaction that day, because it was so unchecked and so telling about my true investment in the series. Dumb as they are, I care about these people. I care about these stories. And I’m really, really grateful nobody actually died at the end of the film, because I would’ve been crushed.

BELLA AND EDWARD FOREVER.

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 11 Days to go: 11

Movie #429:  The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

These movies just keep getting better. I remember seeing Eclipse in the theater when it came out — I was fully invested in Twilight by then — and I remarked how the films had begun to evolve into a fully entertaining motion picture experience. Just a perfect popcorn summer flick, despite the unexplained presence of K-Stew’s wig. (The hair Bella — Stewart — sports in this film is undeniably fake, I just don’t know why — filming The Runaways? I don’t know.) I even got super involved in the novella that came out around the same time as the film — inspired by the novel Eclipse — The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, and got thoroughly sunburned because I read it cover to cover while lounging in a pool and never stopped because the thing has no chapter breaks. If I ever get skin cancer, I might sue Stephenie Meyer.

Eclipse expands the story beyond simply the relationship between Bella and Edward (Robert Pattinson), to the relief of everyone because the relationship parts — particularly those involving Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and his obstinate refusal to accept Bella’s choices — are the most frustrating. Bella has done just about everything but erect a billboard shouting her feelings on the matter of Edward versus Jacob, and yet Jacob, assface that he is, ignores her at every turn, preferring instead to tell her she doesn’t know anything, force a kiss on her, and then emotionally manipulate her into begging him to kiss her so he doesn’t go get himself killed. She loves him, she cares for him, but she’s not IN LOVE with him and he won’t let that sink in. It’s reprehensible behavior and he doesn’t deserve to get off as lightly as he does with Bella simply slugging him. People accuse Edward of being controlling over Bella but, while he does occasionally try to guide her away from doing things he considers harmful (becoming a vampire, having sex, hanging out with werewolves, etc.), he actually grows more and more supportive over the course of this film, and across the series as a whole. He negotiates with her and compromises with her and he allows her agency. They don’t agree on every issue, but he accepts her arguments and lets her be who she is. Jacob never does. He simply argues about what’s good for her, as if she has no say in the matter or not the wits to reason it out. Even Bella herself explains to Edward at the end of the film that this was never a choice between him and Jacob, it was a choice between who people thought she should be and who she actually was. It’s an incredibly important distinction, and crucial that she makes it.

Wonderfully, the same thing goes for sex. There are some religious undertones throughout the series about waiting on sex until marriage, but what’s significant is that Bella is allowed to have sexual interest. She’s allowed to have desires, she’s allowed to be assertive, and she’s allowed to initiate sexual intimacy. And Edward is allowed to say no. He’s not chastising her or controlling her, he’s simply saying it’s important to him that they wait and he ABSOLUTELY HAS THAT RIGHT. Moreover, Charlie (Billy Burke) may be a terrible policeman, but he’s a wonderful dad. When he talks to Bella about her relationship with Edward, he doesn’t try to shame her or dissuade her away from having sex, he simply tells her to be safe, to take precautions, even though he doesn’t like the guy she’s with. He accepts that the question of sex is coming up in her life, whether or not he wants it to, and he wants her to be protected, whatever her choice. That’s huge — for Bella and for the millions of teenagers who will watch the film and who will unquestionably be faced with sexual questions and situations in their lives. The movie is saying it’s okay to want sex, it’s okay to wait, it’s important to love the person you’re with, it’s important to educate and protect yourselves, and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and those are all great messages.

Eclipse also gives us some wonderful backstories for Rosalie (Nikki Reed) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone), plus a truly great montage of some vampire battle training. And I would be remiss to not mention at this point how absolutely fabulous Alice (Ashley Greene) is throughout the series, but especially here with her lithe and agile combat style and playful, sweet, loving relationship with Jasper. We even get more involvement from Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) and Esme (Elizabeth Reaser), proving that Emmett (Kellan Lutz) is not the only skilled fighter of the bunch.

Outside the vampire world, we’re introduced to the fantastic Leah Clearwater (Julia Jones), who takes none of Bella’s crap — assuming as she does that Bella is knowingly and purposefully torturing Jacob — and is tough as nails despite all the other wolves in the pack putting her down and undermining her power on a near-constant basis. (So Jacob comes by it honestly, at least.) And once again, Anna Kendrick is phenomenal as Jessica, delivering a truly epic valedictorian speech at graduation that provides a counterpoint to all the arguments Bella has about settling down forever at Edward’s side. (To be clear, Bella is aware of these counterpoints, she’s just made a different decision. Both paths are valid.)

I always find the marriage arguments sort of silly — both Edward’s arguments pro and Bella’s arguments against — but that’s kind of a minor quibble against the film as a whole. For the most part it’s pretty fun, with a lot of action and a lot of great vampire and wolf fighting, plus the promise of both joy (a wedding) and strife (the lingering threat of the Volturi) to come.

Tomorrow: MONSTERBABY!