MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2

 

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 9 Days to go: 10

Movie #431:  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2

So here we are. Finally — FINALLY!! — Bella (Kristen Stewart) is a vampire, and boy, is she great at it. I don’t agree with all the people who don’t like Bella as a human, but I understand their complaints. Bella as a vampire rocks, though, and I will brook no argument on this point. Kristen Stewart has been (purposefully) playing Bella as fidgety and awkward in her own skin for all of these films, and all of a sudden she’s completely centered and calm and so obviously sure of herself. It’s intoxicating. She rules. Her sprinting through the forest with Edward (Robert Pattinson) is awesome, as is her scaling a cliff — in bare feet, no gloves, and wearing a cocktail dress, no less — like the Dread Pirate Roberts on speed. Then she just leaps off the cliff like it’s nothing and takes down a fucking mountain lion like a badass. Fuck that puny deer, Bella wants some power. And not only can she take down mountain lions, she takes down Jacob (Taylor Lautner) as well when she finds out he put his creepy wolfy imprint on her baby daughter. Bella’s amazing, and I LOVE how openly wowed Edward is by her. He could not be more in love and impressed and astounded by his incredible wife, and I am into it.

Everything’s great now. Bella and Edward are happy and together and super awesome vampires together. Jacob has stopped whining and being a jerk about Bella since he’s found another girl to glom onto — one who actually wants his affections this time. And Jacob has even found a way to let Charlie (Billy Burke) know that magical things are afoot without spilling the beans about the ampires-vay, so the Cullens don’t have to leave Forks because they’re pretending Bella’s dead. Yay, happy ending! The only potential problem is Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy), who is growing faster than bamboo. They need to find answers about her mortality before she’s turned to dust like that dude who chose poorly in Last Crusade. Only … something else comes up. One of their Alaska friends, Irina (Maggie Grace), shows up and catches sight of Renesmee acting all supernatural and she assumes the Cullens have taken a human child and turned it into a vampire. So she goes to tell the Volturi, because that is a big vampire no-no.

The Volturi have been around since New Moon, and they’re an interesting lot. Their leader Aro is played by Michael Sheen in an as comically over-the-top way as he can while still having a menacing demeanor. He squeals and giggles and over-enunciates like he’s a dandy clown, but he’s completely deadly and malicious and he loves amassing power and collecting gifted vampires, of which the Cullens have a deep supply. The accusation of an immortal child is all the ammunition Aro needs to go after the Cullens once and for all, and this development provides the conflict for the remainder of the story, with the Cullens amassing witnesses to testify to Renesmee’s status as a born and growing child. Suddenly vampires are all over the place, with all sorts of fun super powers because somewhere along the way it became boring to just have them be extensions of their human personalities, I guess.

It’s a great, exciting tactic, and the movie really does a lot to include as many of these new vampires as it can, despite having not one-tenth the use for them that the book does. However, Stephenie Meyer hasn’t written a single action/battle scene in any of the Twilight books to this point, so it’s sure as hell not going to happen now. The book ends with them all standing really tensely in a field, with Bella showing off her shield skills a bit and Alice (Ashley Greene) coming in for the win with a grown half-mortal just like Renesmee, and that’s it. Everyone shrugs and goes home. End of story. The movie, god bless it, could not end that way.

I’d followed talk and articles about the production of Breaking Dawn Part 2 in anticipation of its release, and I’d heard about the so-called twist ending. I was curious to see how they would give the film any sort of action, because it simply doesn’t exist on the page. Well, I got settled in to watch the film on Thanksgiving, I think, with a big assist from my sister-in-law, who agreed to watch the baby so my husband and I could go together. I watched and enjoyed the whole thing, and then when Alice shows up and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE?? I turned into a MESS. (SPOILER: I’m about to explain exactly why and how I was a mess.)

I was freaking out. First Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) gets his head ripped off, then Jasper (Jackson Rathbone), and I am literally screaming in the theater. When wolf-Seth (Booboo Stewart) dies, my eyes fill with tears, and when wolf-Leah (Julia Jones) SACRIFICES HERSELF FOR ESME (Elizabeth Reaser)?? I am full-on crying. Caius (Jamie Campbell Bower) gets his face ripped off at the jaw, Jane (Dakota Fanning) gets just what’s coming to her at the hands of Alice and wolf-Sam (Chaske Spencer), and Jacob takes down some random Volturi without even losing a step on his sprinting pace — WHILE CARRYING RENESMEE ON HIS BACK.  Plus Edward falls down a giant, crumbling crevasse (but he bursts back up and tag teams with Bella against Aro). And then, POOF! None of that happened at all and Alice was only showing Aro the goddamn future.

Now, my son, when he finally saw this, yelled about what a rip-off it was. I, however, couldn’t stop laughing at what a freaking ridiculous dork I was to be so panicked over this silly, stupid cast of characters. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I am still laughing at my reaction that day, because it was so unchecked and so telling about my true investment in the series. Dumb as they are, I care about these people. I care about these stories. And I’m really, really grateful nobody actually died at the end of the film, because I would’ve been crushed.

BELLA AND EDWARD FOREVER.

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 10 Days to go: 10

Movie #430:  The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1

Ah, we’ve finally arrived at the wedding of Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson). It’s been a long time coming, if only so that they can finally have sex. (Never get married just so you can have sex. Having sex is way less of a big deal than getting married. Trust me on this.) And what sex they have! Bed-breaking, wood-splintering, down-splitting sex. In the book Edward literally bites a pillow, but maybe that’s just a subtle reference to him being pegged by Bella? I mean, she totally does at some point, when they’re vampires or whenever. I’d bet my life on that. Anyway, Edward is a total moron about the whole thing AS USUAL, getting all dumb about the fact that she has a couple of bruises on her. If you’re going to go kink, Edward, sometimes these things happen. Take your cues from her. Is she upset? Clearly not. So shut the fuck up already. She’s fine. She liked it. She wants some more.

It’s still a pretty gorgeous honeymoon even without any more rigorous screwing, but Bella does eventually convince him that she’s into it and he finally beds her again, only to have her immediately start puking from her super fast-growing newly-conceived fetus. Naturally, because in old-fashioned romance stories (of which the Twilight series is definitely derivative), no sex can occur without resulting in pregnancy, even, apparently, in vampires. (When I read this, I went into full-on hysterics because WHAT THE HOLY HELL, but the entirety of Breaking Dawn the novel is batshit fucking insane, so you just have to kind of accept it and enjoy the ride, even as it goes off the rails.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, vampires have semen and Bella’s knocked up with a monsterbaby.

We then go through the whole of Bella’s pregnancy (which in the book is narrated by Jacob — Taylor Lautner — possibly the smartest thing Meyer ever does. It’s definitely the only time I liked Jacob.), with her being basically skeletal as this giant beach ball of a baby belly sucks all the life out of her and basically tries to kill her from the inside out. It’s really interesting, though, because once again, Bella is doing what she wants. I’ve heard the arguments that the book takes a pro-life stand because the author is Mormon, but I think what’s important is that it’s Bella’s choice. She decides because it’s her life, and that’s okay, and if she were to decide something else, that would be okay too because it’s her life and it’s her choice.

I happened to be newly married and pregnant myself with an unexpected honeymoon baby when Breaking Dawn, Part 1 came out, and I sat in the theater holding my prominent bump, finding myself again relating to the story quite personally. I’d never believed I could conceive a child naturally, as I had issues ever since puberty about irregular or absent ovulation, plus a lot of other factors that just made it nearly impossible. My first child was conceived after a year and half of various fertility treatments and doctor visits and ultrasounds and drugs and several months of intrauterine insemination. So when I got married a second time, with my husband’s schedule and financial considerations and our ages in play, we knew going in that a baby of our own wasn’t on the table because we wouldn’t be going through all that fertility stuff. And then out of nowhere, I got pregnant on our honeymoon just from good old-fashioned honeymoon activities, and it felt like a miracle. It felt like the universe approved of our union and was giving us a gift. And when Bella says her pregnancy feels miraculous, I know she sees it the same way I did. We are simpatico, Bella and I.

There is also an interesting foray into some Right-To-Die territory, as Bella chooses not to do anything to save her life that will harm the baby, and Edward gets incredibly frustrated and angry and miserable at the thought of losing her and not being able to stop it. I think those are pretty authentic reactions to that situation. It’s certainly not the first time that sort of story has been told, and there are plenty of tales of fathers resenting the children whose birth killed their wives. I mean, look at Tyrion on Game of Thrones. His whole family hates him.

At any rate, I find the whole thing fascinating and I think it taps into sincere and honest moments of the human condition, despite being about monster babies and vampires and whatnot. I could, of course, (still, some more) do without Jacob’s stupid face screaming at Bella over how stupid she is (at her wedding no less, like be a dick why don’t you) for even wanting a real honeymoon, or for yelling “You did this!” at Edward. Like, gee, how’d you put that together, genius? I like Jake much more when he’s being snarky but supportive. Or when Bella’s yelling at him.

Part 1 ends on the grizzly c-section scene, followed by the birth of baby Renesmee and Jacob’s wolfy imprinting, which of course overrides any sort of conflict between the wolves and vampires, so bloodshed is spared again (unless you count, like, all of Bella’s). And my favorite part is the closing scene, as Bella’s body heals itself while she undergoes the change, her sunken, broken frame filling itself out and smoothing over all her wounds, brightening her hair and her cheeks and her skin, closing on the incredible image of her bright red vampire eyes opening for the first time. It’s a fantastic sequence, truly one of my favorite things to look at in the whole film. But it still doesn’t beat the delivery Anna Kendrick (as Jessica) gives to her response to Angela (Christian Serratos) at the wedding.

Jessica asks if Angela thinks Bella will be showing (because who gets married at 18?), Angela insists that Bella isn’t pregnant, and Jessica half-snorts out an “Okay” that is both derisive and hilarious. It is my absolute favorite Jessica moment ever and it might even be the best overall line delivery in the entire series. I would 100% watch a wacky romantic comedy spin-off about Jessica making it on her own as a feisty Seattle entrepreneur. Get on that, Hollywood.

Up next: How to make a climax out of the world’s biggest anti-climactic ending!

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 11 Days to go: 11

Movie #429:  The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

These movies just keep getting better. I remember seeing Eclipse in the theater when it came out — I was fully invested in Twilight by then — and I remarked how the films had begun to evolve into a fully entertaining motion picture experience. Just a perfect popcorn summer flick, despite the unexplained presence of K-Stew’s wig. (The hair Bella — Stewart — sports in this film is undeniably fake, I just don’t know why — filming The Runaways? I don’t know.) I even got super involved in the novella that came out around the same time as the film — inspired by the novel Eclipse — The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, and got thoroughly sunburned because I read it cover to cover while lounging in a pool and never stopped because the thing has no chapter breaks. If I ever get skin cancer, I might sue Stephenie Meyer.

Eclipse expands the story beyond simply the relationship between Bella and Edward (Robert Pattinson), to the relief of everyone because the relationship parts — particularly those involving Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and his obstinate refusal to accept Bella’s choices — are the most frustrating. Bella has done just about everything but erect a billboard shouting her feelings on the matter of Edward versus Jacob, and yet Jacob, assface that he is, ignores her at every turn, preferring instead to tell her she doesn’t know anything, force a kiss on her, and then emotionally manipulate her into begging him to kiss her so he doesn’t go get himself killed. She loves him, she cares for him, but she’s not IN LOVE with him and he won’t let that sink in. It’s reprehensible behavior and he doesn’t deserve to get off as lightly as he does with Bella simply slugging him. People accuse Edward of being controlling over Bella but, while he does occasionally try to guide her away from doing things he considers harmful (becoming a vampire, having sex, hanging out with werewolves, etc.), he actually grows more and more supportive over the course of this film, and across the series as a whole. He negotiates with her and compromises with her and he allows her agency. They don’t agree on every issue, but he accepts her arguments and lets her be who she is. Jacob never does. He simply argues about what’s good for her, as if she has no say in the matter or not the wits to reason it out. Even Bella herself explains to Edward at the end of the film that this was never a choice between him and Jacob, it was a choice between who people thought she should be and who she actually was. It’s an incredibly important distinction, and crucial that she makes it.

Wonderfully, the same thing goes for sex. There are some religious undertones throughout the series about waiting on sex until marriage, but what’s significant is that Bella is allowed to have sexual interest. She’s allowed to have desires, she’s allowed to be assertive, and she’s allowed to initiate sexual intimacy. And Edward is allowed to say no. He’s not chastising her or controlling her, he’s simply saying it’s important to him that they wait and he ABSOLUTELY HAS THAT RIGHT. Moreover, Charlie (Billy Burke) may be a terrible policeman, but he’s a wonderful dad. When he talks to Bella about her relationship with Edward, he doesn’t try to shame her or dissuade her away from having sex, he simply tells her to be safe, to take precautions, even though he doesn’t like the guy she’s with. He accepts that the question of sex is coming up in her life, whether or not he wants it to, and he wants her to be protected, whatever her choice. That’s huge — for Bella and for the millions of teenagers who will watch the film and who will unquestionably be faced with sexual questions and situations in their lives. The movie is saying it’s okay to want sex, it’s okay to wait, it’s important to love the person you’re with, it’s important to educate and protect yourselves, and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and those are all great messages.

Eclipse also gives us some wonderful backstories for Rosalie (Nikki Reed) and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone), plus a truly great montage of some vampire battle training. And I would be remiss to not mention at this point how absolutely fabulous Alice (Ashley Greene) is throughout the series, but especially here with her lithe and agile combat style and playful, sweet, loving relationship with Jasper. We even get more involvement from Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) and Esme (Elizabeth Reaser), proving that Emmett (Kellan Lutz) is not the only skilled fighter of the bunch.

Outside the vampire world, we’re introduced to the fantastic Leah Clearwater (Julia Jones), who takes none of Bella’s crap — assuming as she does that Bella is knowingly and purposefully torturing Jacob — and is tough as nails despite all the other wolves in the pack putting her down and undermining her power on a near-constant basis. (So Jacob comes by it honestly, at least.) And once again, Anna Kendrick is phenomenal as Jessica, delivering a truly epic valedictorian speech at graduation that provides a counterpoint to all the arguments Bella has about settling down forever at Edward’s side. (To be clear, Bella is aware of these counterpoints, she’s just made a different decision. Both paths are valid.)

I always find the marriage arguments sort of silly — both Edward’s arguments pro and Bella’s arguments against — but that’s kind of a minor quibble against the film as a whole. For the most part it’s pretty fun, with a lot of action and a lot of great vampire and wolf fighting, plus the promise of both joy (a wedding) and strife (the lingering threat of the Volturi) to come.

Tomorrow: MONSTERBABY!

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 12 Days to go: 11

Movie #428:  The Twilight Saga: New Moon

I’m a pretty voracious reader when something sparks my interest, and for whatever reason, Twilight sparked it but good, seeming to hit the sweet spot of the teenage fangirling center of the brain, even in a grown woman with a child and her own home and a divorce under her belt. So after I read Twilight, I went right out and got New Moon, read it as fast as I could, and bought the first movie so I could watch the second one on demand, where it had just been released. I ordered it through my remote and for the 24-hour rental period, I watched New Moon six consecutive times. I watched it several more times, too, over the next few months, but then, suddenly, I couldn’t watch it at all anymore. It wasn’t that I’d finally gotten sick of it, it’s just that I couldn’t get through the first part without dissolving into tears. You see, for a few weeks in 2010, my then-boyfriend (now husband) tried to leave me, just as Edward (Robert Pattinson) leaves Bella (Kristen Stewart).

I say tried, because obviously he came back and we wound up getting engaged and married the following year and now have a beautiful little girl together and a happy blended family, but there was a time before then, when his walls were still very much up from his past relationships, past failures, past mistakes, and he hated opening himself to help, or to love or to acceptance. As we had been getting more and more seriously involved in our relationship, he briefly balked, and shut himself down, and tried to push me away — to save me from whatever sabotage he was sure he’d eventually commit. It sounds silly, perhaps, but it came from genuine fear on his part. Fear of intimacy, fear of vulnerability, fear of failing again. Likewise, I’d been destroyed by the dissolution of my first marriage, and I had been withdrawn and almost standoffish for quite a while afterward, keeping a distinct difference between myself and anyone else so that I couldn’t get hurt again. But somehow, in his attempt to leave, it broke us both. It made us both realize how much we loved and needed one another. When he asked if I would take him back, suddenly our relationship was closer and freer and more open than any I’d ever known, and it astounds me to this day how much love there is between us. But for those few miserable weeks, I understood every ounce of Bella’s depression in this movie.

Maybe it’s absurd to relate to a film that much, particularly a film as absurd as this one is — as the whole franchise is — but I don’t apologize. Being able to empathize with others (even fictional others) is part of what makes us human, and a film that can evoke that much true and authentic emotion is just as artful and worthwhile as anything else. And the Twilight “saga,” as it calls itself, may be an adolescent fantasy film, but that doesn’t mean it can’t portray sincere truths about the nature of adolescence. Nothing feels as strong or as all-consuming as first love, and nothing is quite as devastating as losing it. Adolescence is a wide array of extreme emotions, really, including the insane temper and jealousy Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is taken over by as part of his wolfish (haha) existence. Obviously that stuff is accentuated for the film, but that’s because it’s a fantasy film and all fantasy films accentuate circumstances in one way or another. Hence the fantasy label. I just think maybe people should lighten the hell up about Twilight for it, y’know?

Outside of Bella’s depression, in fact, New Moon is a lot more playful than the original Twilight. (Anna Kendrick as Jessica is, once again, the best of Bella’s human friends, perhaps because she doesn’t seem to like Bella all that much at all. Her sarcastic “movie night with Bella” line is the best of a LOT of great ones from her in this installment, and maybe my second favorite of the whole series.) Actors seem more relaxed in their roles, dialogue and story are looser, and there’s not as much effort to be morose and ominous. There is darkness, of course, but there is also a lot more attention paid to action sequences, and some of the shots are beautifully brilliant — like Jacob and Paul (Alex Meraz) fighting as wolves and the CGI makes it appear like they’ve knocked over the camera filming them from the woods, or when the wolves are fighting Victoria (the newly vivid redhead Rachelle Lefevre — thank God the budget allowed for that) and an overhead shot shows a crow flying backward to indicate how fast everyone else is moving. Bella underwater with a hallucination of Edward is also a gorgeous image, as is her race through the red cloaks of Volterra to get to Edward before he reveals himself to the crowds. The hallucinations themselves are goofy, but then so is Edward’s entire thought process, so it balances out.

Sadly, people keep trying to pit the Twilight franchise as a love triangle, which is perhaps the most absurd thing of all the absurd things to do with this series. Yes, Jacob is easy to be around and he makes Bella feel alive again, but that’s because he’s like a brother to her, not a lover. This is very clearly stated in the books, and it’s not just alluded to in the films. There’s the one moment when Jacob is trying to push Bella away that she begs him not to “break up” with her, but she knows that’s not the right term. She’s just so desperate not to be alone again, and she knows Jacob has a crush on her so she’s offering up the hope that maybe someday she’ll feel differently about him. Meaning she doesn’t feel reciprocally to him at the moment. In fact, every time he tries to get close or bring up feelings or hold her hand, she makes it very clear that this is not in the cards right now. And when Edward returns, she tells Jacob point blank, “Don’t make me choose, ’cause it’ll be him. It’s always been him.” Then Jacob immediately gets pissed at Edward, saying Edward doesn’t get to speak for her, when Bella literally just spoke for herself. So many people claim Bella has no agency in these stories, but she very clearly does, and she makes distinct choices about what she wants all the time. I just don’t think anyone listens to her. Which is yet another truth of the adolescent experience.

I really did avoid New Moon for a long time, even after my husband and I were reconciled and engaged and happy together, simply from the memory of it being so painful to watch. I am happy to report, however, that watching it today was an easy and welcome experience, and I was able to appreciate all the parts of the film that I’d forgotten over the years. There’s really so much more to it than just the breakup. It’s not a great movie, by any stretch, but it’s better than its predecessor and it’s much better than I remember it being. I’m so glad to have it back in the rotation.

Up next: The inspiration for The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner!

MY MOVIE SHELF: Twilight

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 13 Days to go: 11

Movie #427:  Twilight

Okay, this is kind of funny. Whenever it was that the novel Twilight came out and was a big freaking thing, I have no idea. I was completely out of that loop. I was aware of it being some sort of teen girl sensation right around New Moon, maybe? When it starts to seep into everyone’s pop culture references and everyone is talking about it, even someone as selectively oblivious as I am can’t ignore it forever. I mean, one of my cousins and her friend were playing a Twilight board game of some sort when I was visiting the family one time. It was EVERYWHERE. I had no interest whatsoever, though, in reading the books or seeing any of the movies. Then some smarty pants NPR pal of mine came up with the I Will If You Will Book Club. (She says it was my idea, but that’s not how I remember it, even if I do take credit for it in the comments. WHATEVER.) The point is, I agreed to read this dumb thing on the grounds that all these other snarky, skeptical people would be reading it too, the better to mock it as a group. And then the weirdest thing happened: I became FASCINATED with it.

Make no mistake, Twilight is a horrible book. It’s SO BAD there are hardly words to describe how bad it is — though lack of variety in word use is definitely one of the complaints. It actually makes me mad to read it. It’s like it was written by a teenager, very immature and unskilled yet with a preponderance of SAT words that stick out like sore thumbs all over the place. The action is even worse, as Bella is literally unconscious or absent for every single interesting confrontation. (A running theme throughout the series, unfortunately.) But somehow I didn’t hate it. I saw potential in these characters and in their stories — I definitely didn’t hate Bella as much as most people seemed to — and I guess wanting the story to be better somehow got me highly invested in it. (I even made a good friend out of the project with another participant who liked it as much as I did.) And I was so invested, I kind of immediately became obsessed with seeing the film.

Fittingly enough, Twilight is also a horrible movie. It is over-the-top cheese to a startling degree, everything is kind of forcibly ominous in ways the book absolutely isn’t, and the budget was clearly bare bones (like, they can’t even put Bella — played by Kristen Stewart — into a real cast when she’s in the hospital, opting instead for, like, a gauze bandage on a supposed compound fracture). I even have wondered on more than one occasion if the screenwriter even read the book at all, especially because one of the worst scenes in the movie (and the most memorable) is diametrically opposed to how it plays out in text.

The scene in question occurs in the woods, when Bella is confronting Edward (Robert Pattinson) about his true identity as a vampire. (“Say it! Out loud!” Aye yi yi, so dumb.) The film here is really trying to portray Edward’s self-hatred, and how he wants to warn Bella away from him at least as much as he wants her to know his secret and be closer to him. It’s a really interesting internal conflict, but the execution of the dialogue and the jumping around is so awkward and clumsy it comes off as ridiculous. And then he goes and makes a big deal about how terrifying his sparkly skin is, and could you blame the world for mocking that aspect of these films? The thing is, in the book, Edward’s skin is his favorite part about himself and he’s not angry about it at all. He’s proud to show her the one thing he loves about himself, because for all his bluster, he wants her to love him too. Not only that, but the book offers a great explanation for the sparkles, tying it back to the myth that vampires burn in the sunlight when really humans were just confused by the dazzling prisms of light refracting off their bodies. And because vampires are so fast, when they realize they’ve been spotted, they run off, making medieval villagers or whomever think they burned up in a flash of fire. It’s such a clever, great explanation and the movie completely drops the ball on it because it wants so badly to be dark. I swear, I get so frustrated over that one stupid thing.

Of course, there are lots of other stupid things, from the baseball to the nonsensical plan to get away from James (Cam Gigandet) to the squinty-eyed glare Jacob (Taylor Lautner) gives Edward, to the mysterious deaths, to the reveal of everyone’s thoughts in the restaurant, to just about everything that happens on school grounds. But in a way it maybe just seems dumb because it’s so insanely authentic to teenagers. Like, it’s easy to forget, but teenagers do stumble over their words a lot, or say dumb stuff, or try to act older than who they are, or feel awkward in their skin. It’s like, if you were to find a real town like this and just film it, you could very well find these people, saying things that don’t make sense and acting all self-conscious and just being weird. I really believe that. Teenagers are not nearly as interesting and put together as most media would have us believe.

Unsurprisingly, the underrated best performance of the bunch comes from Anna Kendrick as Jessica, who is freaking brilliant, even with the very little she’s given to do. She’s very much a smart, accomplished girl who is popular in her way, confident in her way, but still insecure in her way as well. She’s competitive and jealous, but not maliciously, and she illustrates just how perfectly teen these kids all are. My favorite scene of hers doesn’t come until the fourth movie, though, so we’ll have to wait a bit to get there. First, we’ll have to rip out my heart, up next.

MY MOVIE SHELF: True Grit

 

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 14 Days to go: 12

Movie #426:  True Grit

This movie is spectacular. I’ve never seen the John Wayne original, but I can’t imagine it holds a candle to the crisp filmmaking of the Coen Brothers and the sensational performances of Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn, Matt Damon as Mr. LaBoeuf and especially Hailee Steinfeld as Mattie Ross. (I would’ve given her the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress in a heartbeat.)

The story is narrated by the grown Mattie (Elizabeth Marvel), recounting the time when she was fourteen and her father was killed by the villain Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin). He had been away from home on an errand, so Mattie travels to have his body sent back and to capture the criminal herself, since no one else there will care enough to.

The title comes from Mattie’s declaration to Rooster that she has chosen to hire him — a U.S. Marshall — to track down Chaney because she’s heard he has “true grit,” but it’s Mattie who has grit, as she demonstrates over and over. She’s clever, strong-willed and formidable. She has a keen mind for business and law and she takes pains not to trifle with silliness, but she’s not without soul or spirit. She can outsmart a grown man on financial negotiations one minute and cheerily reminisce about the time her father took her on a coon hunt the next. She won’t give up her quest to find Chaney, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t delight in telling ghost stories around the campfire. She’s resolute, but she is open to new opinions and admits when she’s misjudged people, and she gains the respect of nearly all that she encounters, kind of by the sheer force of her will, including notorious criminal Lucky Ned Pepper (Barry Pepper), who they find Chaney riding with. She feels fear, anger, sadness and deep affection over the course of her journey with the Marshall and the Texas Ranger LaBoeuf and proves herself to be a deep and richly drawn character, who, despite being so young, carries the whole film.

There’s something to be said, too, for the way Rooster and LaBoeuf are also changed by Mattie, both in their relationship with each other and their feelings toward her. They are truly comrades on this quest, working together and coming to respect and appreciate one another in a way only people who have shared a great trial can. All have flaws — and the dialogue snaps with crackling insults and banter as they pick at each other — and all have strengths, and out of these characters flows the story.

I’ve never really considered myself a fan of westerns, but True Grit is the clear exception. The ride is harrowing, the stakes are high, and the action is compelling. Even the largely unlikable broad strokes of the characters (Rooster is gruff, LaBoeuf is arrogant and Mattie herself is stubborn) are made sympathetic by their words and deeds, each one coming to the assistance of the others, and proving there is more to them than their outward appearance. The film is stark and unforgiving, as traditional westerns are, but it is full of heart and courage and perseverance, and I absolutely love it. (I’ve already seen it more times than I can count.)

MY MOVIE SHELF: Toy Story 3

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 15 Days to go: 12

Movie #425:  Toy Story 3

I’m sure this seems horribly out of order, but I bought the first two Toy Story movies eons ago, and I got Toy Story 3 just last year sometime, I think. Maybe the year before. So obviously I was going blu-ray for it, but since it wasn’t a collection, I didn’t feel the need to replace the other two. Yes, I do think about this stuff way too much. No, I’m not sorry.

It actually took me so long to buy Toy Story 3 because I really liked it, but I wasn’t as in love with it as the rest of the world. It’s great — really great — just like all the Toy Story movies are great. It tugs at my heart-strings and fills my heart and I maybe even tear up a little at the end. But I don’t think it’s the most profound, meaningful, affecting story ever told, or even the best one ever told by Pixar. To me, Toy Story 3 is merely excellent, and everyone will just have to accept that.

The movie brings us to the brink of adulthood for young Andy (John Morris), who is packing up his room for college and trying to figure out what to do with all his old favorite toys. The toys, of course, are having an existential crisis over the idea of being put in the attic, and poor Woody (Tom Hanks) is once again trying to calm them the hell down. Through a series of events and misunderstandings, however, the toys get thrown away and when they are rescued, choose the sanctity of donation to Sunnyside day care. Woody tries to reason with them, to explain the situation, but nobody is having it. (Seriously, despite being the obvious “leader” of this toy pack, nobody ever actually listens to Woody.) So they stay at Sunnyside and Woody attempts to go back home to Andy — where he, as Andy’s most prized toy, will go off to college. Because Andy’s totally going to be racking up the cool points bringing his cowboy doll into the dorms. He gets sidetracked, however, with an unscheduled trip home with Bonnie (Emily Hahn) — a sweet, imaginative little girl who takes good care of her toys — and Woody learns that no one is actually safe at Sunnyside, where an evil stuffed bear named Lotso (Ned Beatty) rules it as a fascist state.

The other toys are finding this all out as well, when they are forced into the pre-school room to be tortured and mistreated, then imprisoned when they try to escape. Mr. Potato Head (Don Rickles) rebels, but is thrown into the sandbox, and when Buzz (Tim Allen) tries to do some covert recognizance, he’s captured and returned to his factory settings, transforming him into a guard against the usurpers to Lotso’s regime. It takes some drastic measures from Barbie (Jodi Benson) to get Ken (Michael Keaton) to reveal how to reset Buzz — though he takes a delightful detour into Spanish mode — and Woody’s return for them to all work together to escape. Unfortunately, even as they leave Sunnyside, Lotso’s actions find them all plummeting into a garbage truck and heading for the dump, where things get very harrowing.

These are all familiar beats for this franchise by now, and while the sad and loving scene with Andy at the end — too grown up to really keep his toys but playing with them one more time as he turns them over to Bonnie — is incredibly touching, it’s simply another variation on a theme. All the Toy Story movies have been about growing up, growing obsolete, and being left behind. All of them are about finding true loyalty and friendship, sticking together when times get tough, and never giving up on your pals. In a very real way, all of them are about parenthood — not childhood, as most assume — because when your kids are young you are everything to them, and as they grow, new things come along to displace you, until eventually they don’t need you anymore at all. So you’d better have your own friends and loved ones to spend your golden years with, because your kids have their own lives to live. That’s how it works, in and out of Pixar animation.

They are beautiful, wonderful, fantastic movies — and Toy Story 3 is absolutely on par with the other two, not losing an ounce of quality despite being the third in the series. I love them all, I really do. And I’ll watch however many more Pixar has a mind to release.

MY MOVIE SHELF: The Time Traveler’s Wife

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 16 Days to go: 13

Movie #424:  The Time Traveler’s Wife

I don’t remember when the novel The Time Traveler’s Wife came out, but I remember going to a movie with my friend and her having it in her bag (she always had four million things in her bag) to read here and there whenever she was stuck waiting for something. She raved about it, said she couldn’t put it down, and said it was practically begging to be a movie. That always stood out to me, in part because I’m always much more entranced by the movie in my head than by imagining an actual movie on a screen, but she was convinced of her opinion, so I felt I had to read the book.

I’m not sure I ever thought The Time Traveler’s Wife would make a good movie — in fact, I thought it might be a really difficult one — but I absolutely loved the book. It was sad and beautiful and loving, and I couldn’t get enough of it. I can no longer recall how many times I’ve read it. I do know, however, that I’ve recommended it to lots of people. In fact, I’m pretty sure it was the first book I recommended to my husband when we started seeing each other. Good books are such an enriching part of life, I always want to let them enrich others the same way they’ve enriched mine.

In the many years since I first learned of the book, I remember that same friend griping when Plan B picked up the rights, since that was Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s production company back when they were still married and the assumption was that they would play the parts. I think she thought they wouldn’t elevate the story to where it needed to be, but I think they would’ve been good. No one really knew how great they both could be back then. But, of course, they split up and the movie kind of sat in limbo for what seemed like a really long time to me, which means it might as well have been a lifetime in the movie industry, but then out of the blue, there it was. The Time Traveler’s Wife, starring Eric Bana as Henry and Rachel McAdams as Clare. (To be honest, I wasn’t sure they would be right for the roles either, but I think they did really well.)

The story is definitely difficult, but despite a rather tepid reception I think it did an extraordinary job crystallizing the winding and tightly woven plot down to its most essential and linear pieces. There is time-hopping, as any story featuring a time traveler would necessitate, but it’s always very clear where Henry is in his life and when it is he’s traveled to. The movie is lightened considerably, too. There is the necessary sadness connected to Henry’s condition, his fate, and the endless task of waiting for him, but the book goes into some deep areas of depression and release that it makes sense to cut for the film.

One way I wish the film had stayed more faithful to the book, though, is in its focus. The story, after all, is Clare’s not Henry’s. It’s called The Time Traveler’s Wife for a reason. The main character is and should always be Clare, not Henry, because the book — the story — is about the patience and faithfulness of a woman who loves a man that will always be leaving. The movie makes itself more about Henry’s travels and struggles. It makes sense because those are inherently more cinematic, and the effect of his disappearances is rendered as a lovely, almost mystical visual, but Clare’s arc has a lot more gravitas and sorrow than the film allows, which is unfortunate.

Having a husband who is away a lot of the time, I often feel like Clare — living life, taking care of the kids and the house and the bills and whatever other mundane tasks crop up over the course of our ordinary existence, but always with a piece of me in limbo, anticipating the moment he’ll return. There are lots of us out there in the world, with spouses who are gone for days or weeks or months at a time on a mission or a voyage or a hitch, outwardly making do. But always, always waiting.

MY MOVIE SHELF: Tangled

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 17 Days to go: 13

Movie #423:  Tangled

Long before it became a movie, I’ve always loved the story of Rapunzel. That Disney turned it into one of their Princess movies should’ve filled me with joy, but even though I like Tangled a lot, it doesn’t make my heart swell the way some of the others do. Part of this is due, no doubt, to the way the film was marketed.

Before Tangled ever came out, it was decided that this would be the Disney movie to appeal to boys, so the film was given a winking title to downplay the presence of a famous princess (Mandy Moore as Rapunzel), and the character of Flynn Rider (Zachary Levi) was introduced as a free-wheeling, devil-may-care kind of guy. He’s a thief, a rogue, a smooth-talking guy’s guy. A guy boys were supposed to really get behind and like.

I have no idea if this strategy worked or not; I don’t know how boys feel about Tangled. What irritates me is that Disney feels the only way to appeal to boys is to have a male character as the movie’s focus — or at least to make it appear that way from the promos. (This is no doubt also why all the pre-release trailers for Frozen featured wacky snowman Olaf and none of the relevant “girly” sister stuff.) Like, why can’t boys be interested in stories about girls? Is there something gender-specific to a tale about an eighteen-year-old who wants to explore beyond the shelter of a home? This isn’t just a Disney thing, of course; it’s a societal thing. Toys, shows, and even movies are considered gendered, and we all grow up believing this is normal and acceptable. So that movies involving female storylines are dubbed “chick flicks” and men aren’t supposed to like them or required to acknowledge them. And when women’s stories appear in traditionally “male” films, like Mad Max: Fury Road, the internet explodes with anger at the idea of forcing men to watch women do things or have emotions or be part of a narrative. It’s the same senseless vitriol that erupts at the idea of an all-female reboot of Ghostbusters, and it places women — and their stories — at a place of lower importance on the social scale. And it’s demeaning that in order to “trick” boys into seeing a film that stars a girl, marketers have to make it look like the girl in question is little more than an afterthought.

But boys can’t possibly relate to girls’ stories, right? Because boys are boys and would relate better to what they know? Why is it that the concept of representation is completely obvious and necessary to filmmakers and studios when it has to do with boys relating to girls but never when it has to do with girls wanting to see themselves in stories that are dominated by boys? I know marketing is a sort of craven practice of boiling everything down to keyword identifiers and specific demographics, but there has to be a better way to promote inclusion and universal appeal, and it starts with all of us, in our homes, teaching it to our children.

Obviously my thoughts on that issue tend to overshadow my thoughts on the actual film in question, and that’s unfortunate because Tangled is really quite fun. Rapunzel is a delightful, curious character, who’s allowed to have a wide-range of conflicting emotions about her journey to the outside world, as anyone would be expected to. And Gothel (Donna Murphy), the woman who keeps her in the tower, is a villain not just in deed but in the kinds of underhanded, demeaning ways she talks to Rapunzel, puts her down, and undermines her as a person. I know from experience, those sorts of statements can be a hell of a lot more limiting and paralyzing than you’d think.

Plus, I think Max the horse is fantastic, and I want him for a pet / guard.

MY MOVIE SHELF: Star Trek

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 18 Days to go: 14

Movie #422:  Star Trek

This was the very first blu-ray I bought, for our very first blu-ray player back in Christmas 2009, a gift for my husband (when he was still just my live-in boyfriend). It was billed (the format, not the film) as the best way to watch movies at home ever, and boy, was it. The fact that this J.J. Abrams reboot of the classic series/films is utterly fantastic certainly doesn’t hurt.

I never really liked watching Star Trek on TV as a kid. My mom was a big fan, so it found its way on pretty often, but I just couldn’t tune it out fast enough. Even the siren song of Wil Wheaton (who makes a voice cameo in this film as a Romulan) in Next Generation couldn’t hold my attention for long. I did get dragged to several of the films over the course of my childhood and adolescence (my favorite was The Voyage Home), but an affinity for it never really took. However, I absorbed enough of it to understand, to appreciate, and to be completely blown away by this version.

The challenge of any reboot is how to make the material new and fresh while maintaining the spirit of the original. Often there’s the risk / worry of rehashing old stories over and over (as in the case with Spider-Man’s origin story), or deviating so far from beloved canon (or that are just bad films) that the fan base decries and abandons the new work (as is the case with countless reboot attempts). Abrams avoided all of these pitfalls in his Star Trek reboot by employing a simple yet brilliant structural tactic: an alternate reality.

We open on the USS Kelvin, a Star Fleet ship about to be destroyed by time-displaced Romulans led by Nero (Eric Bana, bald and badass) looking to exact revenge on Spock from the future (Leonard Nimoy) and settling for any member of the Federation. Aboard this ship is one George Kirk (Chris Hemsworth), a first officer who gets made captain when his captain is killed and who evacuates the ship before it falls to the Romulans. Among the evacuees are his wife and newborn son, one James Tiberius Kirk. This one inciting event erases everything that came before — every episode, every film, every relationship, every everything — and starts the world anew.

In this world, Kirk (Chris Pine) has never known his father, who died on the Kelvin. He’s grown up willful and rebellious. He has no direction. He comes to Star Fleet as a recruit on a dare from Captain Pike (Bruce Greenwood), but he’s far too cocky and disobedient to be considered admirable or a leader. He’s not given command of the Enterprise. Instead, he’s grounded pending academic suspension. It’s grizzled friend Bones (Karl Urban) who gets him on the ship, where he’s rivals with the Spock of this reality (Zachary Quinto) — and in which Uhura (Zoe Saldana) and Spock are romantically involved. Suddenly, everything is possible all over again, and all new stories are set to be told. What’s past is still past (as Spock Prime can attest), but what’s ahead can be anything. It’s so obvious, and so clever, and so great as a structural, foundational move that it’s even given me hope for the upcoming Star Wars sequels.

The casting in this film is essential, naturally, because that’s the one aspect that really does need to emulate the earlier version, and it’s superb. In addition to the main cast, there is the adorable Anton Yelchin as Chekov, the fantastic Simon Pegg as Scotty, and the beautiful, perfect John Cho as Sulu. There are even crazy weird cameos, like Tyler Perry hanging out as some Federation big wig and Winona Ryder, six years Quinto’s senior, noticeably aged to be Spock’s mom.

Of course, the film itself — its story — also has to hold up to scrutiny, and it does. It clocks in just over two hours long, and yet the narrative is rich, layered and detailed, with lots of different locations, conflicts, and obstacles to tackle. It’s tightly plotted and well-paced, and it’s undeniably my favorite foray into the Star Trek universe. May it live long and prosper.