The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015. Remaining movies: 178 Days to go: 181
Movie #199: Ocean’s Thirteen
It drives my husband crazy that I own Ocean’s Eleven and Ocean’s Thirteen but not Ocean’s Twelve, but the only reason I own Ocean’s Thirteen is to get the horrible taste of Ocean’s Twelve out of my mouth and do the best I can to forget it ever existed. That’s the God’s honest truth.
In this one, the crew is once again scattered to the four winds, but they return to Vegas when Reuben (Elliott Gould) is double-crossed out of ownership of a brand new, hot casino on the strip by hotel mogul Willy Bank (Al Pacino, only slightly less a mockery of himself than he was in Godfather III). Bank is a ruthless businessman and an egomaniac. He prides himself on having the hottest, best hotels in all the land, on getting the 5-Diamond award for each one, and for buying an exquisite diamond necklace — which are all in a tower display in his suite — each time he gets that praise. And of course, he’s obsessed with money and power. In order to avenge Reuben, Danny (George Clooney) and his crew — Rusty (Brad Pitt), Basher (Don Cheadle), Virgil (Casey Affleck), Turk (Scott Caan), Yen (Shaobo Qin), Frank (Bernie Mac), Livingston (Eddie Jemison), Saul (Carl Reiner) and Linus (Matt Damon) — work out a way to strip Bank of all of that.
This movie is structured differently than the first, in that it’s more upfront about the cons. It doesn’t try to hide the plan from the audience, as much as reveal step by step how they’re going to dismantle Bank’s casino on opening night by having it pay out millions to everyone on the floor. In addition, since status and reputation are so important to Bank, they have Saul act as the hotel’s reviewer so Bank and his assistant Abigail Sponder (Ellen Barkin) are inclined to give him special treatment, while Danny’s crew secretly sabotage the real reviewer’s stay. (Poor David Paymer, who plays the real reviewer, gets no love his entire stay, but he does win big at the airport on his way home, so that’s something.)
Unfortunately, the team hits a financial snag and have to go through their old nemesis Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia, much more put together and less gross than he was in Godfather III) — a plot line that has a lot to do with what happened in Ocean’s Twelve, but let’s forget that ever happened — in order to bankroll this elaborate con. Terry has a condition: he wants Banks’s diamonds as well. Too bad they’re impossible to get.
There are still a few things Ocean’s Thirteen holds off on revealing, the con is pretty satisfying, and Matt Damon wears a ridiculous nose as part of his role in seducing Ms. Ponder (She’s a “cougar.” He read about the term in Maxim magazine.), so overall the film works for me. At least, it works a hell of a lot better than Ocean’s Twelve did.
Viable Option 