Tag Archives: Chris Rock

MY MOVIE SHELF: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

movie shelf

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 224  Days to go: 225

Movie #153:  Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is a very dumb, very silly movie, but by the time it came out I was really too far down the Kevin Smith rabbit hole to put up much resistance. That being said, however, it’s a pretty funny silly movie. It has about a million silly cameos, references all the previous Kevin Smith films (and quite a few other films too), and even makes fun of itself in silly meta ways. So if you’re in the mood for dumb comedy (and if you’ve sat through Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma by this time, you must be), you could do worse.

The premise is dumb, the schtick of Silent Bob (Smith) not saying anything is played out (but called out, so maybe it’s not quite the infraction it could be), and it actually references bloggers as people who live in their parents’ basements wearing bathrobes, like who knew Kevin Smith and Aaron Sorkin had so much in common, but it’s a fun send-up all the same. In addition to Smith and Jason Mewes (as Jay), Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randall (Jeff Anderson) are back. Ben Affleck is back as Holden McNeil (from Chasing Amy) AND himself. Jason Lee is there as Banky (from Chasing Amy) AND Brodie (from Mallrats). Mark Hamill is the Cockknocker. Will Ferrell is a Federal Wildlife Marshall and Chris Rock is a militant director (while Gus Van Sant is an apathetic one, counting his money). Shannon Elizabeth, Eliza Dushku, Ali Larter and Kevin Smith’s wife are sexy jewel thieves. Judd Nelson gets called out as a badass in Chasing Amy, so he’s here as a sheriff. James Van der Beek and Jason Biggs play the movie versions of Jay and Silent Bob, while Shannen Doherty shows up in a Scream sequel (as the characters of Jay and Silent Bob actually cameoed in Scream 3). Even Alanis Morissette shows up in the epilogue as God (from Dogma). And Joey Lauren Adams is back in a cameo as Alyssa Jones.

Basically it feels like Kevin Smith just got this great opportunity to have a lot of fun with his friends, which is great for him and all, but how many inside joke vanity projects does one guy get off the back of one successful indie movie from 1994? At least five, apparently.

There are some great things that came out of Jay and Silent Bob Strike back, though: 1. Afroman’s “Because I Got High,” which is just a fun song. 2. “Bad Medicine” being used in a movie to introduce the hot chick, as it always should have been. 3. A performance by Morris Day and the Time. And 4. Boo-boo Kitty Fuck being used as a term of endearment. (Your mileage may vary on that last one.)

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

MY MOVIE SHELF: Dogma

movie shelf

The Task: Watch and write about every movie on my shelf, in order (Blu-rays are sorted after DVDs), by June 10, 2015.  Remaining movies: 287  Days to go: 276

Movie #90: Dogma

As the disclaimer states at the start of Dogma, this movie is a comedic fantasy. It tells the story of two angels cast out of heaven that are trying to get back through a Catholicism loophole and a ragtag band of crusaders trying to prevent that from happening because to prove God wrong would unmake existence. And like any Kevin Smith movie, it’s filled with fast-paced dialogue, witty observations and a lot of silliness wrapped up in a lot of profanity. Also, in the same way every other Kevin Smith film is basically a stage for Smith to expound on his numerous pet theories, Dogma is a single, consolidated location for all his theories on religion.

Unsurprisingly, Smith has a lot of theories on religion — particularly Catholicism, which I assume he’s most familiar with — and everything is presented here in both a wry, discerning way and a completely tongue-in-cheek one. But in the midst of all this wildly overblown farce are some actual thoughtful and enlightened ruminations on the concept of faith.

Linda Fiorentino plays Bethany, a lifelong Catholic who has lost her faith (though she still goes to church out of habit). Bethany is the last Scion (the last living descendant of Jesus — the movie doesn’t posit Jesus himself had any children, but that Mary and Joseph had other children after Jesus was born and that Bethany is his many-times-great-grand-niece) and is tasked by the Metatron (the voice of God, played of course by Alan Rickman because I assume Morgan Freeman wasn’t available) with stopping fallen angels Bartleby and Loki (Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, naturally) from transsubtantiating into human form, being wiped clean of all sins, and ascending into heaven. The two angels were long ago servants of God but were cast out when they questioned His/Her orders and have been roaming the cheese-headed wasteland of Wisconsin ever since. Like Bethany, Bartleby has lost all faith, is disillusioned by the seeming capriciousness of a God that can be so forgiving with some and so cruelly unjust with others. Even coming from a comedic fantasy, that’s a feeling I know for a fact many people have felt in their lives.

Bethany is joined by thirteenth apostle Rufus (Chris Rock), former muse Serendipity (Salma Hayek) and supposed prophets Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), and they all have quite a lot to say about religion, the Bible and belief systems in general — well, everyone but Jay and Silent Bob, who are mostly around for comic relief. Serendipity talks about the Bible’s gender bias, while Rufus has a beef with its racial homogeny — both pointing out the obvious fact that, moved by divine inspiration or not, (white) men wrote the Bible and inserted their own agendas and prejudices into it — not necessarily intentionally, but that it’s a known risk factor in the translation. People always see things through the lens and perspectives of their own experiences, and so mankind has to find a way to filter through the biases of the hundreds of generations who came before and simply connect with the truth of the original message. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s such an important part of living a full life. Faith is not about taking things as they are spoon fed to you, never questioning the things you are told. Faith is about humbling yourself enough to know that you don’t know the answers — that no one does — and seeking out the truth in your heart and in your soul. Faith is about simply believing that we have a purpose, even if we never know what it is — that something out there is bigger than we are.

Of course, it’s not easy to promote that kind of faith. That kind of faith is difficult and taxing. It’s much more convenient to simply follow a bunch of rules and take the required steps and go through the motions that many of us are taught in childhood. But as Rufus and Serendipity point out, God is bigger than all that, and no single religion has it truly figured out. Real faith is work because it requires toil and acceptance and humility. It requires tolerance and patience beyond what most of us have naturally. Bethany initially rejects her role as a leader of this kind of faith, because it’s scary and it’s hard. Nobody could fault her for resisting that path, because most people would do the same — it would feel like too much of a burden, too heavy a responsibility to carry. I like that the film accepts this about us as humans, and doesn’t make judgments about the innate flaws we all have.

Where it does make judgments is everywhere else, from Loki smiting a bunch of Mooby executives for laughs, to Bartleby and Loki being mere pawns of the demon Azrael (Jason Lee) because as far as Azrael’s concerned going back to the nothingness before existence would be better than Hell, to the cynical idea that a pompous man of God (Cardinal Glick, played by George Carlin, OF COURSE) would bless his own golf club in order to improve his game. It also winks at God’s sense of humor, casts street hockey punks as minions of Hell, accuses someone of selling his soul to Satan to up the grosses on Home Alone, says that God is a woman (played by Alanis Morissette, duh), and indicates She has a serious love of Skeeball. Like, who doesn’t?

Obviously I don’t think Dogma is the last word on God and religion, any more than I think religions are the last word on God and religion, but I do think that open-mindedness and discussion and meditation on a subject — even one as fraught with the perils of questioning closely-held belief systems as religion is — are the true paths to enlightenment. I think we learn more by opening ourselves up to the views and experiences of others than we do by insisting that our way is right and nothing else is possible. As Rufus says, wars are fought and lives lost over beliefs, but ideas are much more flexible. If our faiths were built on ideas — changeable, malleable, evolving ideas — I think we’d be a lot closer to peace and acceptance than we are now.

I’m not so naive as to think anything like peace or total acceptance is even a possibility in this world, but it certainly is a nice idea.

Dogma

MY MOVIE SHELF: Bowling for Columbine

movie shelf

This is the deal: I own around 350 movies on DVD and Blu-ray. Through June 10, 2015, I will be watching and writing about them all, in the order they are arranged on my shelf (i.e., alphabetically, with certain exceptions). No movie will be left unwatched . I welcome your comments, your words of encouragement and your declarations of my insanity.

Movie #38: Bowling for Columbine

Look, I know I’m solidly on the Liberal side of the political divide, and I know Michael Moore is famously so. I also know he’s often intentionally incendiary and extremist in his views, which causes a lot of people to shut him down immediately, not willing to hear what they already know will be remarks and opinions that challenge their own views. I get that. I still think his movies are valuable.

I remember seeing Bowling for Columbine the year it came out and being so utterly moved by it — by certain sections of it, anyway, because sometimes Moore makes me roll my eyes too — that I included it in these email rundowns I used to do of the Oscar nominations. I would highlight major categories and make predictions and give insight, not into just the films but into the Oscar process itself. It’s something I did for years, and even though no one really outside of my personal friends ever received or read them, I put a lot of effort and thought into them, and I sold this movie hard, strongly encouraging all of my friends to seek it out and watch it, regardless of their views.

I’d get feedback here and there on those emails over the years. My mother, for example, thought they were great and that I should be the next … whoever it is that talks about those things professionally. Most people, I assumed, ignored them completely, just as I know for a fact most of the people I send these My Movie Shelf links to ignore them completely. (Eh, I’ll probably  live.) That year, though, I got a response from a friend of mine who I suspected, though never confirmed, had a very pro-gun husband and was probably pro-gun herself (either on her own or through his influence). I could tell she was kind of pushing back against my praise for the ideals of the film, but she very diplomatically simply asked me what I liked about it. In a nutshell, it’s the message — not that guns are bad or should be banned or whatever, but that we as Americans have a very complex relationship (and fascination) with guns, violence and fear. And there are no clear answers as to why.

There’s no denying that all of Moore’s films have an obvious agenda. He’s not out to objectively document both sides of an issue; his films are just as edited and framed and given a producer’s slant as your typical season of Survivor. Just like Jeff Probst, Michael Moore has his favorites in the game and he angles questions and situations to make those people look favorable and perhaps even give them an advantage. Of course he does. If Charlton Heston had been a vocal leader of an anti-gun group, it’s doubtful Moore would’ve ambushed him at his house. Or tried to conduct a guerilla interview through the open door of a minivan, as he did with Dick Clark. Everything that’s filmed is technically real; it actually happens, but there is most assuredly context that is left out on both sides to present the argument Moore wants. The thing is, though, this is Moore’s intent. He’s trying to sell a point of view — not simply to document his subjects and let the chips fall where they may, allowing conclusions to arise naturally — and he uses his fearlessness and his willingness to keep pushing the envelope and his affinity for challenging people’s logic with the absurd to highlight that point of view. In this way, he’s incredibly skilled.

Who doesn’t recognize, for example, the insanity of handing out guns at a bank? The bank workers, obviously, but Moore presents it in such a way that it’s almost laughable, it’s so bizarre. And who doesn’t find it disturbing to watch the security footage from Columbine or to hear the 911 call from Buell Elementary in Flint? Who doesn’t find it uncomfortable when a politician or a corporate PR person is caught between logic and the company line? Moore presents these situations, in all their unsettling glory, to force people to look inward and ask themselves why is that insane, why is that disturbing, why is that uncomfortable, and to question the status quo. Yes, he wants people to see things the way he does, which is maybe a little hubristic and arrogant of him, but I think the questions themselves are what’s important, whether or not you necessarily come to the same conclusions.

Bowling for Columbine isn’t just about guns and mass shootings. It touches on issues of poverty and racial strife and our historical violence as a nation. It searches for the answer to why we have so many more gun murders than other developed countries, and the answer still eludes us. The answer may always elude us, actually, but at least the movie acknowledges the fact that gun murders are a serious problem and must be addressed. It’s fifteen years after the Columbine shooting and we’re still having a hard time getting people to agree on just that little piece of the puzzle.

Even now, whenever a mass shooting occurs, NRA representatives immediately flood the airwaves and loudly proclaim their right to bear arms, as Moore highlights they did after both Columbine and Buell. Not only did they flood the airwaves then, though, they went to the towns and held loud, belligerent conventions, which in no way comes off as anything but disrespectful to the very real people who lose loved ones in these tragedies. And yet they continue to do it, and they get louder and louder each time. And each time it makes me angrier and angrier, not with the majority of American gun owners (law-abiding, responsible citizens), but with the political lobby of the NRA, more concerned with their own pocketbooks than with the well-being of our people, of our humanity.

Guns are not evil, they are not the cause of all our strife, but they are inextricably linked to it, they are an agent of it, and it’s something like Bowling for Columbine that could help, at least in part, start a conversation about our national woes.

The part of the movie that affects me most is actually only tangentially linked to guns. The mother of the 6-year-old boy who shot and killed his classmate in Buell Elementary in Flint, Michigan, was not around to teach him that guns are dangerous, or to monitor him as he got ready for school that day. She left in the wee hours of the morning every day to ride a bus 40 miles as part of the Welfare to Work program, where she would work two low-paying jobs in an affluent Auburn Hills mall, ride the bus home, and arrive late into the night. And still she didn’t make enough money to support her family or pay the rent, which is how they ended up living with her brother, where her son found the weapon he brought to school. That woman’s story is a tragedy to me, at least as much of one as that of these two little first graders — one with a ruined life, and the other with an ended one. Who’s going to address that problem?

I often joke that everything I know I learned from movies, but it’s not entirely untrue. Movies have taught me more empathy and tolerance for lives and situations different from my own more than probably anything else I’ve been exposed to. Movies have taught me compassion. Movies have shown me life outside the lens of my own perspective. I am forever grateful for that, because I believe it makes me a better person overall. So while I don’t believe people will watch this movie and see the same things I do, I do believe it’s capable of opening their eyes to things that exist outside their personal sphere.

Early on in the film, we see a clip of Chris Rock’s comedy show “Bigger & Blacker” in which Rock jokes about the need for bullet control. About how, if bullets cost $5000 each, there would be no more innocent bystanders, that people would have to get a second job and save up money before they could shoot anyone, and that anyone who did get shot must’ve really had it coming. It’s funny, sure, but it’s also not the worst idea I’ve ever heard.

When I first saw Bowling for Columbine, I remember finding the trip to Kmart pretty unfair. You bring cameras into a corporation’s headquarters and ask to speak to someone who can do something about the 9mm handgun ammunition sold in Kmart stores, you’re putting the company in a difficult spot, for one, and, for another, the decision by Kmart (the next day, when the entire local media was present) to phase out ammunition sales felt like a hollow victory. What would it change in the giant scope of things, really? However, tonight I looked at it differently. I felt such pity and compassion for these boys who had been wronged, not by Kmart directly but who still had Kmart bullets lodged in their bodies, and I realized that sometimes — especially when dealing with a monolithic corporation with dozens of levels of underlings trained to shuffle you off to the side with a promise to “note your feedback” or to recite the company policy while having neither the position nor the authority to help you at all — you have to go to the top. And you have to be persistent. And if all else fails, sometimes you have to draw public attention to your plight. Because some companies only speak in dollars, and nothing can impact dollars quite like a public relations problem. And I also felt that, even though it’s just one chain of stores, small steps make a difference. Maybe by making guns and ammunition just a little bit harder to get, fewer people will shoot other people.  It makes sense to me.

Bowling for Columbine

MY MOVIE SHELF: Beverly Hills Cop II

movie shelf

This is the deal: I own around 350 movies on DVD and Blu-ray. Through June 10, 2015, I will be watching and writing about them all, in the order they are arranged on my shelf (i.e., alphabetically, with certain exceptions). No movie will be left unwatched . I welcome your comments, your words of encouragement and your declarations of my insanity.

Movie #30: Beverly Hills Cop II

They talk about horror sequels in Scream 2. The body count is higher, the budget is bigger, the deaths are more elaborate. Action comedy sequels aren’t much different. Beverly Hills Cop II is slicker than its predecessor. It’s bigger and more stylized. It features more famous faces. It’s the same structure as the original (really, almost exactly the same), but turned up to 11. And as far as sequels go, it’s pretty successful in capitalizing on that tried and true formula, providing a solid-enough story and plenty of comedy. It’s a good one (unlike III, which — let’s forget that ever happened).

So, aside from the opening theft scene, the movie starts with Axel (Eddie Murphy) undercover as “a businessman” in Detroit (just like the first). Inspector Todd chews him out (just like the first). A friend is shot. Axel sneaks off to Beverly Hills. We’re treated to a scene of Axel driving down the streets of the super-rich city, observing all the strange and hilarious behaviors of the people who live there. Literally, all of this also happens in the first film. But everything is also amped up.

Here, instead of scamming a hotel room, he outsmarts an entire construction crew and scams himself a mansion. Instead of one hilarious strip club scene, we get a hilarious strip club scene AND a Playboy mansion scene. Instead of making an offhand joke to a valet with his piece of shit Nova, he trades jokes with Chris Rock as the Playboy mansion valet who has to park Axel’s cement truck. Instead of sneaking past one receptionist with a slapdash floral delivery excuse, we get two elaborate cons on front desk ladies who handle all deliveries/visitors. Instead of one big shootout at the end, we get two mad dashes to crimes in progress, one wild car chase involving several crashed police cruisers and a giant cement truck, and still the big shootout at the end. And instead of Axel doing pretty standard (if slick and imaginative) police work like he did in Beverly Hills Cop, Beverly Hills Cop II sees him almost as his fabled “Supercop,” cracking codes before computers, breaking into buildings while circumventing alarm tape (he was also once a supercriminal — B&Es, running numbers, etc.), being able to recognize specialized bullet casings in a single glance (far outpacing literally everyone in the Beverly Hills police department), and magically lifting fingerprints with superglue and blacklights. It’s insane how gifted this movie makes him out to be.

Of course, there are also a lot of things that don’t make any sense. Why is this crime ring referred to as the Alphabet Bandits when the only theft they committed was at the letter A place? Their B crime was popping Bogomil (Ronny Cox), but by then they were well-known by this nickname. Speaking of being well-known, why the hell is some news station in Detroit covering the shooting of a Beverly Hills police lieutenant? I mean, really. Even if it was a national news broadcast, there’s no way that makes the cut unless the “Alphabet Bandits” have been on a crime spree that’s at least made it to J. Also, how has Bogomil practically solved the mystery of the Alphabet Bandits by the time he’s gunned down (and how did they know he solved it)? Did he know they were up to something before they started robbing places? Because like I said, they only robbed the one place, and all anybody seemed to know about that one was that a 6-foot blonde (Brigitte Nielsen) was involved. As Taggart (John Ashton) says, “Six-foot blondes grow on trees in California.”

There’s also the matter of how in the world Gilbert Gottfried’s character Sydney Bernstein would think a police detective could get on Bernstein’s office computer and wipe out evidence of a bunch of parking tickets from the police department system. This is a good five years before the internet was even on college campuses. Or how that one evidentiary gun casing would lead to literally all the relevant criminals (maybe that’s how Bogomil had solved it already), including the patsy Charles Cain (Dean Stockwell, who will always be Al Calavicci in my heart). Or that Bogomil’s daughter would just so happen to work in an insurance company which just so happens to be the head criminal’s insurance company, in which there is a clear paper trail of his motive.

There are a lot of awfully convenient coincidences, is what I’m saying.

But these coincidences take nothing away from how funny it is. Taggart falling in the pool, then dressing in golf pants, then being taken for Gerald Ford. “Ooh, I love it when you talk dirty.” Paul Reiser really getting to stretch his legs in this one as annoying tag-along Jeffrey (who still does a mean Inspector Todd impression). Twins Monique and Unique. “Follow your dicks.” Rosewood (Judge Reinhold), formerly a machine-gun hater, now a gun-happy nutjob. (Remember when gun freaks were considered nutjobs? Good times.) “You know where your dick is, don’t you Big Al?” Axel standing on his tiptoes to talk to Karla (Nielsen). And Gilbert Gottfried picking up his phone off the cradle and screaming “Bitch!” into it, like there was anything other than a dial tone on the other end.

The movie makes me laugh. And, not for nothing, but I always kind of liked how Axel never keeps any of the money he gains from various sources. The $20 for Monique and Unique goes back to Rosewood so he can buy some more vitamins. The $50 he finds at the abandoned armored truck goes to Chris Rock to park the cement truck next to a limo. And the $200 he gets as a bribe from Bernstein goes to Food for the Homeless for Beverly Hills in Bernstein’s own name. Now that’s slick.

Beverly Hills Cop II